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By November 27, 2011

As his belly grows larger, so does her level of disgust

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My boyfriend has always been on the slightly stocky side since we started dating over a year ago. He was actively trying to lose weight ‘for me’ because he wanted to, but at that point it didn’t’ matter to me and I never even commented on it.

But now he’s gained a bit of weight over the past few months, and it is becoming a BIG a problem for me now. Ms. HeartBeat, he’s got a gut growing out of control! I don’t find his belly the least bit attractive at all. I don’t mean to offend anybody that may read this with a weight problem, but it’s just my preference to have a man on the trimmer side.

I’ve mentioned to him that he should watch his weight because he doesn’t eat healthy, sits at a desk all day, then comes home and plops in front of the TV and/or computer. I really don’t want to hurt his feelings because I love him, but I want you to tell me what I can do to drop the hint that the added weight isn’t cool.  I need help explaining how looking at his belly makes me feel, and telling him that I want him to actively try to get rid of that thing. What to do??

Signed,
As The Stomach Grows

Dear Growth Monitor:
Get your checkbook out girlfriend. Investigate membership in one of the many gyms in the area and see if you can find one that will give you a two-for-one special on membership registration fees, or find one that you can afford on a monthly basis for one year.  You pay for the gift, he comes and works out.


Since you will both become members, you can make it a time to bond while working out together. Walking on the treadmill, exercising on the elliptical cross trainer or stationary bicycle, and lifting some steel will do him good. Try out some group exercise classes like kickboxing, hip hop or salsa dancing, or increase flexibility with mat Pilates or yoga.

Even if he doesn’t change his diet much at first but is consistent with his new exercise program, you should see a very noticeable change in his body within weeks. Why?  Because men have more muscle mass than women do and tend to shape up and get their sexy back much more quickly.

Some health clubs offer new members complimentary sessions with a personal trainer with a full health and fitness assessment along with a custom beginner weight training program.  Even if he has little to no experience with resistance training, your guy will be provided guidance on proper exercise technique and an appropriate routine for his fitness goals. He might even want to get a trainer to kick his butt even more, especially since summer beach season is right around the corner.

You need to be on your “A” game though girlfriend!  Prepare yourself for the up side (you will be happy he is losing weight and the belly is going), right along with the possible downside (you will be jealous because he is losing weight and the belly is going).

See, once he loses the weight and starts sporting a six pack and a chest and some yokes to die for, and other women start giving him major play, you are most likely gonna wish you had shut your mouth and loved your stout little man just the way he is.

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MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.

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About the Author:

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.

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