Cell Phones in Public Restrooms?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
What is it lately with all these women talking on the cell while in a public restroom? In my humble opinion, it is incredibly rude to the person on the other end of the phone (who wants to listen to that???) and to those in the restroom who often feel very self-conscious about knowing that their private bodily sounds are being broadcast outside of the restroom. Is this only something women do or do men do it too?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
These Bluetooth headsets have folks walking around looking like that Borg girl (Seven of Nine) on Star Trek! Fools go everywhere blabbing on those things that are glued to the side of their head.

There really needs to be some adjustments made in Miss Manner’s book with regards to what constitutes proper manners. The old standby guidelines have not kept up with technology, nor with people’s stupidity.

I say when we see someone doing that, we that are offended should go into the stall next to them and make loud fart sounds with our mouth. Then drop a handy weighted object into the toilet so it makes a loud splash, preferably several. Follow that up with "WOW, WHAT A LOG!" as you make fake groaning sounds like you are first in severe pain, then in a state of blissful relief.

I betcha whoever was on the phone would quickly hang up!

Any woman that would do such a thing while holding her phone in her hand is an especially nasty heffa! Why would you think you need to pee or worst while on the phone anyway? Who do you think wants to hear all that? And how are you gonna wash your bacteria-laden hands after you get done?

Have some decency and decorum about yourself ladies and do not go into a restroom in public or at home while having an active conversation on the telephone.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.