Child Abuse or Discipline?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I don’t know if it is because I’m from the Caribbean where parents are not as lenient on their kids, but I think it takes a lot to consider something child abuse.

I have seen kids beaten in school in front of teachers, and principals, and no one called it abuse. I have been beaten with supply lines, belts, pieces of sticks, pipes, phone cords. I know people who have been beaten with pot spoons, broom sticks, whatever their parents can get their hands on.

And I don’t consider it child abuse, I consider it discipline. I am not saying I will be as strict with my kids, but hey, I turned out just fine, and so did my other siblings who got beaten. The other two who didn’t get beaten are hoodlums. My question, what exactly do you consider child abuse? And how bad does it have to be to be child abuse?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
A lot of this is exactly as you point out – cultural. Though I am not with the use of broom sticks, pipes and utility cords, I AM a believer in corporal punishment delivered fairly and in a controlled manner by loving, concerned parents.

And I agree with you…people that come to the U.S. from other countries tend to have different values about how children are supposed to behave and these parents have no problem tearing up some butt if their children act a fool. Black parents used to be like that as well, but then they got influenced by White parents and started putting their children on a useless time out and taking away their toys instead of beating that ass!

Personally I think you have to know your children. Some kids can be disciplined effectively with stern words. Others need their asses beat. The punishment should always be associated with and relevant to the crime. Parents should tell their children the boundaries and that if they do X they get & as a punishment. Then follow through.

If you have the ass beating kind of child that is headstrong, disobedient, willful, disrespectful, or dangerous to others and you never take a stand and beat that ass, you are raising a potential criminal and sociopath, and most likely a future drive by victim.

Parents need to remember that other people in the world, including the Police, are not gonna tolerate b.s. from your bratty adult that was once an undisciplined bratty kid just because you did.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.