Recently the father who was seen on video beating his two adolescent daughters with a cable cord was arrested and charged with child abuse and corporal punishment this morning. In the beating video, the girl’s screams of pain and shrieks of terror make you want to cry. When the girls returned home after a weekend with their father, the welts, bruises and open wounds on their legs and thighs so alarmed their mother that she called the police.
The video was disturbing enough, but equally frightening were the reactions of African American men and women all over the web who sided with the father. They cheered and applauded his assault saying that beating was nothing but “good parenting” and that the girls deserved it for making the twerk video and uploading it to You Tube. However, there is much debate about the reason for his anger, as the girls and he both said the beating was for sneaking out of the house, and nothing about a video was mentioned by either.
In any even, those that applauded his beating of the two girls meant they saw nothing criminal about his acts.
I was horrified and disgusted. A 225 lb pound man (with previous arrest records), Gregory Horn can be seen wailing away as hard as he could on his two skinny little girls. His behavior can in no way be categorized as good. A man who did something similar to his wife was arrested, charged and imprisoned – so why do black people think it okay for a 225 adult male to beat on two 80 lb girls?
I flatly stated that there was no need to beat your child to get them to behave and make you proud. Ever.
Why Beating on Female Children is Unacceptable and Counter-Productive
Children do make silly decisions sometimes, and we’ve all done things our parents told us not to do. But isn’t that what young children do – make silly mistakes and sillier decisions? Children don’t have the life experience or understand long-term repercussions like adults. (Hell, half the adults we all know make stupid decisions and they don’t have youth and innocence as an excuse!)
Some said the father was justified because the girls would grow up and be on a stripper pole and grown men would be watching them twerk and what not and possibly want to rape them. What a ridiculous thought!
Men watch convent school church girls, they watch hoochies, they watch adults in suits on commuter trains. They also rape 4 month old babies, 2 year olds in diapers that can barely talk and 8 year old kids. Anyone that believes what a female child does is what makes men molest or rape her has very strange and dangerous thought processes. I strongly suggest you seek mental health therapy and fix that. No child or male or female is EVER RESPONSIBLE FOR A MALE’S VIOLENCE AGAINST THEM. The only one responsible for an assault against a child is THE RAPIST, THE MOLESTER or THE ABUSER.
Whupping, spanking, beating – no amount of physical violence is necessary or desirable to raise a child. Children can be raised to become excellent people without anyone ever hitting, beating or whupping them.
How to Raise Children With a Sense of Pride and High Self Esteem
All children want from their parents is their attention and positive regard. Parents can either give that attention in a positive, enriching, uplifting way, or they can give it in a harsh, negative, punitive way.
I told my daughter how important school was and how she was to never do anything in school that would have them folks calling me to come up there. I sat with her every day and helped her with her homework. I had her read to me while I cooked dinner so she was getting my attention even when I was busy doing something else. I or her Daddy would lay in bed with her before bed and read her a story and talk to her about her day. We took her places that were fun and educational and exotic like Hawaii and Jamaica, Disneyland, Discovery Museum for Kids, Disney World, skiing in Tahoe, fishing, boating, etc.
But one day in fourth grade she made the mistake of not doing homework. She lied to me about having some several times so she got a bad interim report card. Teacher calls my cell to warn me. I say umm humm, fax the homework to me at the job that she didn’t do. Teacher does. I go home with it and sit girlfriend down and explain to her that is NOT a part of the deal and we talk about her lying etc. Then I gave her some trash bags and said go put all your toys in these bags. I cleaned her room out. She had NOTHING in there but a desk, lamp, dictionary, bed and dresser.
Then I told her with each good interim report you can earn some of your stuff back. I gave some of the toys to the church up the street (they had a day care center). She had to do all the missed homework in one weekend, PLUS over the next three weeks until next interim report, I gave her EXTRA assignments – two book reports and some worksheets, spelling words, etc. No television, no video games, no computer games, no friends over, no going to the park. Nothing.
After she crossed me, her little ass was HAPPY to do that little bit of homework the teacher gave her with a big ole Kool-Aid smile. And we have never had that problem again.
She turned 23 yesterday and still talks about that and tells her friends about it and they look horrified. But I did not have to beat my child – I fucked with her MIND instead. By showing her cause and effect, she learned valuable life lessons about obligations, responsibilities, and follow though. She learned that when I say something, that is what I mean and you can trust that I will do it. No questions.
After the punishment was over and she earned all her stuff back we talked about it again. I love my daughter and tell her that all the time. I want nothing for her but the best, but she has to do her part. I told her Mommy goes to work, and you go to school. I get a paycheck and you get report cards. But Team Cooper has a job to do and we both gotta do the work together for our family to be on top and stay there!
So see, all you have to is work with your children, putting in the requisite time and energy to raise them into fine human beings with good hearts, high self esteem, and a belief that they can accomplish anything and be everything because you instilled that belief in them.
Beating on children means that parent is a lazy so and so with a very twisted, very disturbing idea about how to show children love.
Children Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright ©1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte