Day 13 – 40 Days of Rain on DBR Black Man: Failure to Grow Up

DBR black men are the whiniest, neediest, tit sucking, diaper and bib wearing punks that you will ever meet. They never seem to get past the stage of needing momma or a momma substitute to take care of them, and continue to seek female nurturing and care-taking well into their 40s. For the woman seeking a take-charge, confident, manly man, these dudes are about as useless as tits on a bull.

You’ve heard them in your own families, and seen them on-line in droves… the guys that whine about how black women need to support them, nurture them, care for them, love them, listen to them, do for them, guide them, blah blah blah. Never a word about what they are going to do for her, never a peep about what they can provide. Nope! All they do is come at you with their hand out and their neediness front and center.

Some women are confused and don’t understand how to recognize when they are dealing with one of these tit sucking infant-men that are still hanging onto Momma’s skirt tail. Here are a few clues:

These are the guys that even as adults don’t wipe their ass well because their mother always did it for them. So you find yourself living with or married to a big ass baby that puts skid-marked draws in the laundry for you to be disgusted by.

These are the guys that even as adults don’t clean up after themselves. Instead, they leave their clothes on the floor or the bed, sandwich makings on the counter, drop shit on the floor and just walk over it, or grind what they dropped into the carpet.

These are the ass hats that use all the toilet paper then get up and walk out of the bathroom without replacing the empty roll.

These are the disgusting beasts that piss on the toilet seat and just leave it there because their mother always cleaned up after them. They mistakenly think that elves come into the house and clean everything, replace everything and make skid marks and BO disappear.

These are the guys that will come home from work three hours before you do, and sit on the couch or lay in the bed starving rather than prepare a meal because they are waiting for their woman/Momma to get home and feed them. He has the nerve to be angry that you didn’t get home sooner to “fix my food!”

I’m so sick of these worthless ass GROWN men around this house who LITERALLY can’t even feed themselves without a woman’s help. Y’all need to do us all a favor and starve to death. Real talk! ~Monique T.

These are the guys that haven’t yet realized that your girlfriends or wives are not their mothers! You all need to understand that your desire to be treated like a nursing infant does not inspire lust and passion in a woman. She either thinks of you as her manly lover that she admires and respects, or she thinks of you as a baby that she has to take care of. Most women do not desire to have sex with children, so that’s why you ain’t getting no poontang and she rolls her eyes when you say something.

Man the fuck up and you might get some pussy!

Speaking of pussy, have you ever heard of a grown man that would turn down time to be romantic with the woman he loves to hang out with “his boyz?” Sure, teens and college students are usually that way as part of their development. Not saying its the best idea, but it is what it is. However, when you are dating a 30 plus year old man that blows you off to hang out with his “boyz” and play video games… that would rather spend an evening being a child than spend time being sexy and romantic with his woman, there is a real problem with maturity here.

These are the guys that throw bitch fits (aka tantrums) when they don’t get their way. Most of the time though, they do it vertically instead of laying down on the floor like a two year old. You will see them squench up their face, ball up their fists, and stomp around or wave their arms up and down real fast. Some of them kick things or punch walls. Do not be confused – this is the equivalent of a toddler crying and throwing a toy out of his play pen and just as childish.

These are the guys that were raised to be decent men, but decided they wanted to get fast money or do some other simple bullshit that lands them in trouble with the law. And who does he expect to step up and take care of him while he is locked up behind bars? Momma and any other woman in his life, that’s who!

Though he did the crime, he expects all these women (who did are continue to do what they are SUPPOSED TO DO every day), to change their lives and set aside time, money and energy to take care of his criminal ass. He expects these women to absorb him into their already tight budgets every cost involved of sending him clothes and toiletries, buying him a television for his cell, and putting money on his books for smokes and junk food.

I wish a muthafucka would so I could crack his face with my “NO!” As a matter of fact, before you even ask the answer is “NO!”

These are the guys that fuck around and have babies with one dumb broad after another, then depend on his momma to make his child support payments for him or buy his kid(s) clothes, shoes and toys because he won’t get work to do it himself. His momma thinks she is doing what she is supposed to do so “my grand-baby won’t suffer” when in reality she was not the one laying up there busting that nutt and making that little muthafucka. All the grandma should be doing is providing birthday and Christmas presents like any other grandparent – that’s it.

These are the guys who, since he is getting taken care of by Momma and all his responsibilities are being covered by Momma, feel no urgency to get a job, to move out on his own, to get a second job, finish school, try for a promotion and a raise – nothing. He sits on his ass letting Momma fill in the blanks for him and carry him on her back like a mule.

These are the guys that act a fool when a woman has his baby because he needs all of Mommy’s attention for himself. First, he will deny that the baby is his because of course that means assuming grown up responsibilities.

Then he will start making demands – for sex before your body is healed from childbirth…that you let the baby scream because you need to pay attention to him right now…that you feed him first and let the baby wait because he is hungry dammit! The demands and competition for your attention and time once you have his child is both amazing and very disturbing. He seems to have a crippling case of sibling rivalry with his own child – a helpless infant that can’t do ANYTHING for itself. Wow.

These are the guys that demand a woman give him money, cook for him, give him sex, sit there and watch him play video games, have his dinner on the table at a certain time or hear his mouth, draw his bathwater, and iron and lay out his clothes.

He isn’t looking to have an adult relationship because he is incapable of such responsibility. Remember when that fad was out where all the DBR men and women were sucking on a pacifier or a ring pop? This dude is that big ass 185 lb baby.

Now this is probably the only essay where the DBR black man is going to get a bit of slack, because this is not something the DBR black man does alone as in most other cases. In this one his dumb ass momma is his codependent partner in crime because she coddles and babies some grown ass man. At 45 and 230 lbs she still calls him “my baby.”

These are the mothers that defend their sons when his silliness is called to the carpet by a woman that needs him to be a man. Momma, you should be using your energy to get your DBR son in line and raise him into a man, not spoiling him. The mothers of DBR males that treat their sons like helpless babies not helping their sons at all and they’re fucking life up for the whole black community.

However, that is only a part of the equation, because a REAL man… a man that is about something would back his mother up. A REAL man would not let his mother or any other woman take care of him like a pimp or a child.

A REAL man would say: “Momma, I’m a grown man now. I don’t need or want you to be taking care of me like I am 10 years old. It’s my job now to take care of YOU, my woman and my kids. Sit down Momma. Don’t do nothing else. I ain’t a baby no more. I got this!”

But the DBR man does not do that or anything that looks, sounds or smells like that. Why should he stop his gravy train of nurturing, support and diaper changing care from Momma and every other woman he manipulates into playing the same roles in his life? Why move out of the room he’s lived in since he was five and lose the privilege of someone cleaning up his room and doing his laundry the way he likes it? Why do all that when it’s easier to sit on your ass and be taken care of than it is to stand up and take on adult responsibilities of manhood with a job, paying rent, paying taxes and bills and child support every month.

Yet DBR’s love to get in your face and tell you how they are a man. Boy, bye!

Understand ladies that you do not have the power to change a DBR Momma’s boy from a child into a man. He will forever seek the fast and easy way to get something from a woman, to get over on a woman, and to do as little as possible that requires him to exert his own energy. He is used to getting what he wants and needs from Momma, and he expects you to fill the same role in his life.

Grow the fuck up and stop leaning on women and your Momma like a legless man without crutches. What’s wrong with you?

And ladies, unless you have some pedo tendencies and are turned on by the prospect of taking care of a man-child, you know what time it is.