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By April 8, 2013

Day 16 – 40 Days of Rain on DBR Black Men: One Trick and Lie After Another

Oh they’re a tricky lot these DBR black men! You can’t trust anything you hear come from their lips and smart women trust only half of what they see. These dudes have an arsenal of sleight of hand tricks that make David Copperfield jealous, can come up with more unbelievable shit than Criss Angel, play more mental games than The Amazing Kreskin, and can disappear out of your life so fast they put Harry Houdini to shame.

pied-piper-of-hamelin-548x214DBR black men lie, game, cheat, pretend, coerce and do any and everything they can to make you believe some shit that is in no way true. Why do they do all this lying and gaming? Because they want just one thing in life – to use women to get their needs and wants met with as little investment in their own time, energy or money as possible. Like the Pied Piper of Hamlin led the rats then the town’s children to their deaths, you will be skipping merrily along to his magical song, and by the time you realize where he’s taking you its usually too late.

What are some of the common lies that DBR men tell? That list is so long this mere article could be an entire book! But generally the lies fall within five key areas:

  1. Conquering your resistance to his advances. He will pull out any trick in the book to win you over to his side and convince you to give him your heart.
  2. To advance things to a sexual level with as little conversation or exposure of his real self as possible.
  3. To arouse your interest in spending as much time with him as he likes without him having to sacrifice his actual physical availability to other desirable sex partners.
  4. To get into your wallet or to avail himself of your resources right along with your body until he gets everything from you that you have to give; and
  5. To get as much as he can from you emotionally, sexually, mentally, financially, spiritually, and physically while giving you little to nothing in return.

These things would never be accomplished without an arsenal of lies and games which he pulls from his trick bag. Understand that these games are passed from one generation of DBR black man to the next in a secret brotherhood of an underground war against the black woman. Women are studied like lab rats, and experimented on with their demise or suffering merely a casual inconvenience for the DBR black man who cares only about himself.

Why Do DBR Black Men Play Destructive Games with Women?

The top reason men play games with women is to gain the upper hand. Just imagine the puppet and the puppet master. Now what does the puppet do except what the puppet master MAKES HER DO? This scenario is the ultimate goal of the DBR black male who desires more than the air he breathes to run women – as many as possible and the more the better he feels.woman-man-money-bills-cash

The DBR male is always emotionally immature and undeveloped as a person. At some point he got stuck in a time warp and never grew up past the age where his psyche was damaged. From personal observations I’ve surmised that for most DBR men that age is about 15. Black men suffer a great deal of mental illness from childhood emotional and physical abuse. And as the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. A healthy personal would never want to hurt or deceive someone else for the fun of it, so you know a man who enjoys playing mind games is a seriously damaged individual.

DBR black males have a real need to feel superior to females. Some say that it is due to their huge ego, but I think it is more the result of a damaged Id, and a dysfunctional super-ego. When someone feels they must manipulate and control by playing mind games, that person is actually suffering from extremely low self esteem, an overwhelming fear of rejection, and an aching sense of emptiness. In other words, they are fully aware that they ain’t about shit!

DBR black males spend a lot of time making jokes and teasing women in hurtful underhanded ways. I discussed this pattern of trivializing and making jokes in an article on emotional abuse. When he sees how he has hurt you, he feels positively juiced – like Popeye after a can of spinach. He’ll say that it is just having a little fun and no big deal, but if the only person laughing at his “jokes” is him, that is very telling. If a joke is funny, EVERYONE in the room should be laughing with you, not at you.

DRB black males love to play mind games with and hurt women, and have no qualms about it. They don’t care if you are left feeling insecure, confused, jealous and anxious. Making you feel off center and unstable is their goal. In their mind the less confident you are about him and the relationship, the more likely you are to bend over backwards and give to him when he asks you for things.

The Lies, Games and Tricks of the DBR Black Male

I first became aware of the extent that DBR Black males will go through to get over on other people when I was about 19 years old. I had a part time job at a prestigious San Francisco investment banking firm and was at that time the first and the only black employee. Yup. This is a fact. So when this story that I’m about to share happened, all the white folks looked at me like I was somehow related to this guy since we were both black. SMH.

Anyway, the trading floor opened at 6:00 am here in sync with the 9:00 am opening of the New York Stock Exchange. On his way to work, one of the traders had gotten into an accident and his Porshe got pretty banged up. The guy behind the wheel jumped out, apologized profusely, and pulled a business card out of his wallet to give to the trader. “I’m on my way to the airport and I can’t miss my flight! Here’s my business card. Call my office after 9:00 am and my secretary will take care of everything and tell you what to do.” He shook the dude’s hand,  jumped in his car and took off.

The trader, thinking all was well didn’t worry about it. The card belonged to an attorney at a high powered law firm on California Street, so he went on to do his trades.

Well about 9:30 or so he had his secretary call the law firm. Turns out that attorney did work there, but he was a 60 year old WHITE male who was on vacation in Europe at that time with his wife for their anniversary. The trader got GOT and the brotha, misrepresenting himself as someone he wasn’t got away scot free after damaging the trader’s car so badly it needed thousands of dollars of work and repainting.

Since that time and the advent of the internet, there are thousands of stories about DBR black men from the U.S. And abroad using amazing magical tricks of manipulation, mental control and deception. Let me share some of the common scams they run.

Overvaluing Their Penis

These guys want sex, but they try to pretend like they aren’t pursuing you for it. Their goal is to convince you that their dick has as much if not more value than pussy does. They want to try to flip the script so that instead of you expecting to be taken out and treated like you are special and wonderful, he wants you to take HIM out and give HIM money to pay HIS bills, etc. because you are so happy he is blessing you with his penis.

If not, he at least wants you to never expect anything from him or to want much at all when you sleep with him… since everything is equal and all and you’re a woman of the new millennium. Typically, the DBR tactic is to use words like “you’re not giving it to ME, we’re giving it to each other!” or “I don’t pay for sex!” which is his excuse for not taking you out. In reality, dick is plentiful and practically blowing up and down the street like leaves. That is why men spend so much time begging women to give them access to a pussy so they have some place to put that thing.jealous boyfriend

This is also the reason why men go crazy when a woman takes her pussy and leaves them alone. Have you noticed how many men kill the woman that tries to leave? That isn’t because of her brain, conversation or cooking abilities! That isn’t because she keeps a clean house, listens to their problems, massages his back or feet, or buys the right holiday gifts for his family. They kill her because the thought of someone else fucking her, making her squirm in pleasure, and her achieving orgasmic bliss on some other man’s penis or tongue makes them crazy with jealousy.

To those men, the value of a woman is in her genitalia. They are caught up in how she fucks them and makes them scream her name. But they still try to play that mind game where they pretend pussy has no power. If they can get you to believe that bullshit, it makes the rest of the games they want to run on you easy as taking candy from a baby.

Fake Relationship Scam

In this game he will spend a lot of time with you and talking to you, texting you, etc. AT FIRST. He tells you how happy he is and you two laugh and have great fun together. He may introduce you to some members of his family, some friends, some coworkers – most of whom are covering for him and in on the scam as well. You think you are making some serious inroads but its all part of the charade. His goal is to get you all wrapped up and focused on him and fantasizing about possibilities of a long-term romance.

But the second you want to talk about a future and that’s when he starts hemming and hawing and backpedaling, talking about his damaged past, his broken heart that hasn’t mended yet, and how perfect you are for him if you two had only met before he got dogged by all those other women that messed him up.

Where he was all in your face before, now you feel like you have to hunt him down. He may break dates or not show up. When you call him he either fakes like he is soooooooo sleepy, or he’s very distant on the phone as if you are bothering him. That’s because you are! He has someone waiting on him and he needs to get to her ASAP.

The Fake Relationship Money Scam

“We met on Facebook. He claimed to be a widower, very lonely and looking for love. His ad stated that he travels a lot for business, is 50 years old and has a 13 year old daughter. I thought that was perfect. I’d always wanted to be a mother but never had any children of my own. We talked on the phone every day for about three weeks, then he told me he was going to Nigeria on business and would be back in two weeks to come and get me and take me to his home in Mississippi. He reported that he had an accident in Nigeria, was shot in the arm while being robbed and hospitalized. He said they stole everything. He claimed he did not have enough money to get home and begged me to help him financially and asked for my credit card information which, of course, I smartly did not give him. Since that time, I have had no further contact with this man.”

Who Are You Really Scam #1

I had a …*ahem*…friend…that dated a guy for almost a year until I…I mean SHE…found out that she did not even know his real name. She had checked ID, taken him to what she thought was his job and even met his “brothers”. He was living a secret life and she was his woman in that secret life. In real life he had a long term girlfriend that he lived with and two kids by her. Amazing how these guys can find so many co-conspirators in their fuckery.”


Who Are You Really Scam #2

I had a dude lie about his name, his age and where he lived for some years. I had children with him before the truth was found out. It came out when I told him he needs to do more for the kids financially or I’ll have to take him for child support. He told me I would have to pick a name out the hat and they would never find him, so I copied his plate and hired a Private Investigator and got the info I needed to take him to court

. Well, he had another cat do the DNA test so that he could say they are not his kids.

After battling in court for years and constantly having to miss school and miss doing my clinicals and other stuff, I said fuck it. I have not had shit to do with him since then. And when I was hitching up my wagon to be on my merry way I met the man who is now my husband and I have never looked his way or back. Well, come to find out later he was already married with a whole bunch of kids, but when I took him to court he was ready to go back to his country.”

Be My Wife Engagement Scam

“I have a friend who met this NIGERIAN dude through a networking group. They started kicking it and he moved in with her and they became engaged. She bought a whole house full of furniture at Nelson Brothers (Chi-town people know NB) on her dime, although he paid half of the bills at the house. He told her to go back to Mississippi where her family was because it was cheaper to get married down there than it was in Chicago. He told her to begin planning the wedding for down there with her family. Well, they delivered the furniture the next day when she was leaving to go back to Mississippi.

He dropped her off at the airport then came home. Next thing you know a Samson (Israreli company) moving truck pulled up to the apartment loading dock. The NB delivery truck came and the movers came great timing! He told the delivery drivers to move the furniture into the moving truck and drove off. When she got back that Friday night there was NOTHING in that apartment. She was devastated. I was like oh fear not, I know the owner of Samson Movers he will tell me where he went with your furniture! When we got to his house in DC he had his wife and family there. They’d just celebrated a wedding to his Nigerian wife. He’d maxxed out my friend’s credit cards that he’d gotten in her name without her knowing it. She had all the receipts from the furniture that she’d paid for. We called the Police. She got her furniture back to Chicago and he was arrested for credit card fraud.

The Nigerian dude’s wife was in on the scam as well. My friend never gave this guy any information on her – he stole it while she was sleeping and got more credit and cash loans. They used her money to put down on a house on Victoria Island in Lagos a very Swanky area. My Uncle is an asshole attorney and he took care of that shit right away. The Nigerian got deported and her monies and her credit was back to perfect after a while. At the end of the day when they searched his locker he had like 50 passports some fake some real and just as many aliases. Other women came through when his arrest was announced and they were out thousands as well. White black Latino this guy did NOT discriminate.”

The Pitiful Dying Man Scam

Women love to take care of hurt and wounded things and nurse them back to health. Scammers take full advantage of this and use it to manipulate women into giving to them. One gentleman reports: “A young man that worked for me when I lived in Michigan was kinda scrawny and kept his head shaved. He’d tell women in the clubs that he was dying of cancer. He got laid and what ever else many times with that scam. I told him that he was an asshole, but he just laughed and made some disparaging remark about dumb women. I lost all respect for him after that.”

Lies of Omission Scam

Your new boyfriend conveniently “forgot” to mention that there was a spouse at home, a baby on the way, a live-in partner, or a pending indictment for stalking or murder. Lies of omission are the most common manipulative game DBR men play with women. By omitting key facts, he manipulates your reality. This puts you at a marked disadvantage, as you think you are getting involved in a situation and with a person that actually doesn’t exist, as we saw in the “Who Are You Really?” scams above.

Misrepresentations of Facts Scam


This scam involves pretense and deception, usually with the goal of getting you to trust him so you become involved physically, emotionally and/or financially. Uncomfortable with themselves and fearful of not measuring up, they present themselves as more and better to impress others, creating a situation you might have avoided if you had all the facts.

Typically misrepresentations would be exaggerating income and what he has, who he knows, his job title or claiming he owns a big business. Most will pretend to have an interest in you that is more than physical, but in reality his feelings of “love” are nothing but lust. Online dating sites are full of these guys lying about their marital status, their height, weight, age, body type and build – pretty much everything.

I Couldn’t Help It Scam

This is the plea he cops when he’s busted with his dick in some other woman’s pussy. You know he cheated. The only thing he can come up with to his defense is either somehow its your fault that he cheated because you didn’t do something he wanted (guilt tripping), or its the other woman’s fault because she enticed him away and he wasn’t trying to cheat but it “just happened” (powerless over his dick).

Dumb women actually believe that he was just walking down the street minding his own business when he tripped over the curb and landed butt naked in some other woman’s pussy. Or they really believe that the other woman is a “homewrecking Jezebel” and their innocent man was enticed away to fuck her until he couldn’t move.

These are the same guys you women think you are supposed to follow and let lead you as the head of something, but he can’t even control his dick? What kind of bullshit and fuckery game has been run on stupid women that never challenge such illogical thinking?

The Pious Church Man Scam.

where is myIn this one a pastor and one of his cronies work together to set up and scam a trusted member of the congregation. Since pastor gets the tithes, he has inside knowledge on the financial standing of every member of his church. Ms. Bluebonnet is 42 years old, never married, owns her home, and has a great job where she makes over $150,000 a year. Pastor’s friend from childhood is getting out of prison soon and needs to be set up with a woman to help him come up and get re-established.

So Pastor tells Ms. Bluebonnet about his “childhood buddy moving here from out of town” and hooks them up. Pastor tells bummy friend exactly what to say and do to get Ms. Bluebonnet’s interest, and before long they are engaged. The wedding is next month because Pastor insists there by no hanky panky. Once married bummy friend gets his name on all accounts and starts spending money like a King. He needs to start a business. They need a bigger better house where she never had other men. He needs a car of his own. And they need to tithe 20% to the church instead of just 10%, as the additional 10% is the Pastor’s finder’s fee for setting bummy friend up with the well to do Ms. Bluebonnet. Religious women know something is wrong but they feel obligated to “follow” their husband and Pastor’s word as a good wife should, so they stay until they are used up.

Blackmail and Extortion Scam

“I was 49 when I married my husband, who I met through the internet on a well-known dating site. It was my first marriage, his third and I have reason to believe that the entire marriage was both a sham and a scam. Before we got married in a beautiful church ceremony he asked me to take loans for him in my name for a substantial amount, though most of the loans are listed in our Prenuptial Agreement. We were only together 15 months, after which he blackmailed and extorted money from me until he was convicted of harassment about six months later. But we still aren’t divorced. He has only paid back less than $2000 of over $40,000 in debts, and has told me I only got that to make sure I continued with the divorce and that he never intended to pay me back. I have been paying off his loans since May 2008 and he just leased a luxury car for $900.00 a month!”

He Told Me He Loved Me Scam

“He told me he love me and conned me out $2,000 I really could not afford. He took his son and left me here pregnant to go to Africa to visit his family he said. Then he called and told me that he was stranded in Africa because he had only bought a one-way ticket. He kept telling me that he and his son were hungry and needed money to eat and things were very expensive. After I sent the $2000 I refused to send any more or do anything. I know it sounds shady but I’d been seeing him for a year. He dumped me but he was the one that said he loved me. He bought me a ring and said he wanted to marry me. I got an email that said he had been beaten and shot in Africa and to send money for medical bills. I figured he should just die.”

He Told Me We Were In This Together Scam

“He sent very nice emails claiming love and had started calling me the Mrs. and his wife. Said he lived in Los Angeles, California but got a contract working in Malaysia. After about two months he asked for $5000.00 to cover materials due to problems with his bank overseas and to pay bills. When I said no, he told me he was disappointed that I didn’t trust him and wouldn’t help him when he wanted to marry me. He’d built a relationship with me for months but always comes up with a different reason to borrow money, such as his internet was shut down, he is sick, he needs food, needs money to start new job in Malaysia, he needs a new cell phone, he needs to see a doctor etc. and every time I refuse he gets mad. But when I say I have money he gets back to me.”15479067_s

There are literally thousands of games that DBR black men play on women here in the U.S. And internationally. I’ve shared just a few of the ones I’ve come across lately, but the actual list of scams, lies and tricks they run on black women would probably go around the planet 17 times.

Bottom line as I told you before, any time you see a DBR black man’s lips moving you can bet he is lying and playing some kind of sick psychopathic game. If you aren’t sharp and fail to stay up on the game, you will become road kill as his lying DBR ass rolls right on over you in search of the next mark.

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