Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Last Tuesday, my boyfriend and I got into an argument and I hit him in the face. I’ve apologized a hundred times, admitted I was wrong and have offered for us to go to counseling. I’ve never put my hands on anyone before, there is just something about him that pushes my buttons and wreaks havoc on my insecurities.
After it happened, he decided he needed time to figure out if we could be together, then he’d talk to me sporadically. He told me he’s afraid of how he’ll feel around me now. He’s willing to go to the counseling but had a negative attitude toward it. In my opinion, if you go into something like that with the attitude that it’s not going to work, then it won’t work.
Three days ago, he said he feels foolish that he let things get as bad as they did last week. He asked me what my honest opinion is of someone who stays in an abusive relationship. I told him I understood what he was saying. He asked me if I was going to resent him and his family, now that his family knows, & I told him “no”. I asked him if there was anything left for us to work with & he didn’t answer. He told me that people think he’s a glutton for punishment & I asked him if he’s going to live his life based off of what other people think. He said he’s not but that he cares what they think & that sometimes they make sense.
It felt like he didn’t want to work things out, so I stopped responding because I don’t want him to feel I’m trying to force him to stay. The last thing he said was, “I’m sorry. Good night.” The following morning I got a text from him saying, “Well, good morning.” With the exception of the past week, he’s always sent me a good morning text, so I thought things were looking up. I asked him what his apology was for from the night before and he said, “Just in general.” I replied, “Oh, okay.” And I haven’t heard anything from him since.
His Facebook status still reads “In a Relationship”, yet he hasn’t talked to me in three days.
Don’t Know What to Think
Dear Don’t Know:
Really, if you are trippin that hard with this man, and you resulted to violence (something which you have never done before), and you admit that there is something about him and/or this relationship that pushes your buttons and takes you there, that is a major clue that…
YOU TWO DON’T NEED TO BE TOGETHER!!!
Accept it and move on before you end up behind bars. Change your status to “single” and let him go on with his life. He is trying to be nice about dumping you, but you are trying to act dense like you can’t understand what he is telling you. Believe me honey, once he told his family that you physically assaulted him, the relationship between the two of you was over.