Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I’m a 27 year old married mother of one child, expecting my second in August. My husband is 10 years my senior and we are in an interracial relationship (Im mixed and he’s Caucasian). I mention our races because we have different views about certain things.
Last November, my husband took a business trip to Las Vegas for four days which was out of the blue. When he returned, we had sex that evening which something was off and I felt he was guilty about something. For a whole week, he avoided being intimate with me by making sure he was sleep first or staying up extra late.
After about a week, he told me he had a rash on his testicles from shaving and it was bothering him. He finally confessed and said that he danced with a girl at a club who ended up licking her hands and sticking them down his pants and it caused him to get a rash.It was so fast that he couldn’t stop her. My husband wears his pants on his waist with a belt at all times.
He then tells me he was going to see his Dr. to get tested for STD’s. WTF? I had to get tested as well and everything came back negative for both of us. I waited for a month and we had sex again which resulted in me getting pregnant.
He thinks he did nothing wrong and it’s not a big deal. I’m still pissed 8 months later in which I’m 8 months pregnant. I know he cheated because I can feel it my heart, but he tried to convince me otherwise. Am I crazy?
Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
There are many different things which contribute to rashes of the testes in men, and several different ways your husband could have gotten a rash on his testicles. Some of them do involves inappropriate sexual activity, and some do not. Let’s go over a few of the most common scenarios which could have resulted in your husband’s condition.
- He had vaginal or oral sex and used a condom. The only thing that was exposed was the base of his penis and his testicles. However, I don’t see how a bacterial or fungal rash from the woman’s bodily fluids would only be on his testes and not around the base of his penis as well. If you were both tested for STDs and the tests came back negative, then syphilis, herpes, genital warts, public lice, and scabies were apparently ruled out. So without that diagnosis, there may not have been direct oral or vaginal contact.
- He had a lap dance and removed his belt. That is quite common, as the metal buckles can easily injure the dancers and put them out of commission for a week. With his pants loosened and the belt off, the dancer would have had easy access to do just as he said. If she had a yeast infection, trichinosis or some other fungal infection of the vagina or mouth, placing saliva on her hand then stroking his testicles could have resulted in the transfer of those fungi to the warm, damp testes, which is an ideal environment for fungal growth.
- He was in a hot tub that wasn’t very clean or at the proper temperature, and bacteria grew in the damp trunks that he kept on after he got out.
- He actually developed this problem by having an allergic reaction to ingredients in the hotel body soap or body lotion – contact dermatitis, eczema or psoriasis. Normally in this case, doctors prescribe a balm or ointment to clear up the rash, reduce the itching and help the skin heal.
So as you can see, there are a great many possibilities here, and not all of them are as bad as you have decided they are. Though I certainly understand your concern and suspicions, and I’m betting you are correct and he did SOMETHING he wasn’t supposed to be doing. However, there is unfortunately no way to prove anything definite or concrete, so you have to let this one go.