Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I met this amazing guy online about 3 months back. He is really nice, caring and loving and the types who seem really genuine and trust worthy. However, I happen to check his profile online recently where I found that not only has he updated his ‘about me’, but also added new pictures from a trip he took about two months back (before which we had met just twice).
We have been meeting more frequently since his return and have also come close physically (although not having gone the whole way). Do I have any ground to doubt him? Should I ask him directly about the profile updates?
As for me I had not even bothered to log in to the website all this time but just happened to check recently. I am really scared as I have had a bad experience in the past with a guy I met online who deceived me into believing certain things and then just backed off. Am I just letting my past experience over shadow this? Please advise.
What is Going On Here
He is not serious about you. He is not committed to you and doesn’t really have to be serious, because he is not your boyfriend. He is just some random guy you met online and went out with a few times.
Asking him about his profile or what he is doing with other women or online is totally inappropriate. You don’t have any kind of claim on him like that. Stay balanced and focused on what the reality of your situation is vs. what you would like it to be. From what you describe there is nothing going on of a serious nature. The fact that he maintains and updates his online profile means he is still out looking for his Miss Right, or at least new casual sex partners.
Instead of being upset about his profile being online, you should still have YOURS online, and be actively dating other men. You should also not advance any physical activities with this guy. You seem like the type of woman who gets easily attached and hurt, so for you having sex with this guy would bring unnecessary heartbreak and confusion.
This guy is not “The One” and must be treated as such.