Looking for a Loving Woman Except She Can’t Be Black!
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I’m a young single guy looking for love, but I have a problem. My problem is my preferences. I like women of other races, but not black women. I try to find something attractive about black women, but I just can’t. I feel a very strong attraction to the white and Asian women on my college campus, and none to the black women.
It feels like I’m obligated to date someone based on color and not follow my heart. It didn’t help after reading flyers or hearing from my mother, “There are very few black men out there to date black women.” What do you think I should do?
Signed,
Unsure
Dear Unsure:
As tempted as I am to give you a dissertation on the virtues of the black woman, I will refrain. You failed to state what you find so unappealing about black women, or what you find so attractive in non-black women. That makes it a challenge for me to comment on what your motivations might be.
I won’t even give you any psychobabble on the affect black women may have had on you as a child. What I will tell you is that you shouldn’t feel compelled to be with a Sista out of some twisted sense of obligation or because of government statistics. The number of available black men IS smaller for certain age groups (not for yours though where there are more males than females). However, Sistas deserve to get to choose from men who find them wonderfully appealing, sexy and warm… no woman wants to be with a man that is with her but would rather be somewhere else.
I trust that your attraction to these other races is returned, otherwise you’ll have a whole new problem to write me about when they kick you to the curb because they DO want to be with white and Asian men that look like them. In any event, you should follow your heart wherever it leads you, and be good to whomever you decide to be with.
I think the black woman will survive fine without you.