Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My son’s Dad stopped by last night at midnight drunk as a fool. His wife had kicked him out after the game because they got into a fight. He decided to came by to “talk” to me.
I had to ask him to leave because he kept touching me. I am happily married. He is married too. He is also expecting a baby in 3 weeks. When I walked him to the door he tried to kiss me and I had to PUSH him off me. It was very wierd and scared me a little.
Now I felt guilty for even letting him in at all. Should I tell my husband (he is away for months, stationed in Iraq)?
Wondering What to Do
Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
Don’t be stupid. I wrote an article about women blabbing everything that comes to their mind or happens to them entitled “Women Need to Just Shut Up Sometimes!” Think about this for a minute…what would you tell him that mess for?
#1 What can he do about it thousands of miles away on the other side of the world?
#2 What would you think telling him would accomplish that would be helpful to your marriage?
#3 Are you intentionally looking to stir up drama and resentment between your child’s father and your new husband?
These are all things that you need to think about before you open that pie hole of yours. I don’t see where anything good could come from it.
Even if your ex were to later claim that he came by, look at him like he is crazy and say “no, you are confused. You did come by drunk as hell knocking on my door at midnight, but I told you it was late and to go back home. You smelled like a distillery and should never have been on the road in the first place.” Hey may even try to embellish the story and make it seem like you two slept together, because he sounds just that trifling. If so, make sure you look astonished and tell him he imagined all that and that you never even let him in, remember? Remind him that he was drunk out of his mind. He’ll be confused. He’ll doubt his recollection of events. He’llt think it was all a drink. Since he was drunk, he won’t really remember much in the way of details anyway.
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you spill your guts to your man. Husbands don’t need to know everything. Some secrets are good secrets, especially since it doesn’t affect him or your marriage.
This is an issue that you need to keep quiet about and never tell a soul after today. And in the future, don’t open your door to let anyone into your home after 6:00 p.m. except your mother. I mean it.
Category: Daily Advice Questions