No Sex in Marriage?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I’m not married yet but I keep hearing men complain that they had more sex with their now-wives before they got married. Kinda makes me nervous about getting married. Why do you think so many married women cut sex off to their husbands?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
Because so many husbands are stupid and selfish.

They think they can get away with not talking to you, ignoring you, not helping out, not being on the same team. They leave their woman to do everything BY HERSELF. She is of course exhausted at the end of the day from kids, errands, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, baths, story time, and working at her OWN job while all he does is sit his behind on the couch when HE gets home.

When a man does nothing to alleviate his woman’s stress and leaves her to handle life alone, he will get the cold shoulder. He has no right to even think he is gonna get hot sex on a platter when he hasn’t done squat to get that privilege. Yes, sex with your wife is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. Being married does not entitle you to unconditional access to her body anytime you want.

So, HELL NO! Women in those situations don’t want to even look at that man’s face, let alone have sex with him. He is a complete turnoff. He pisses her off. She can’t stand him.

Guys don’t get that foreplay starts at 8 a.m. You want some booty at 9 p.m., then 8 a.m. is when you need to start making sure things go smoothly all day long so she is feeling lovey-dovey warm and fuzzy towards you in the evening. Then it’s all good and you won’t have to be one of the guys asking himself questions like this. You’ll be too busy getting BUSY!

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.