Your love style was developed very early in life, and was influenced by a multitude of negative and positive experiences. Without exception, no two styles of loving are exactly alike. While genuine love can only be demonstrated in behavior, there are many different ways of showing love.
Overview of the 14 Major Love Styles
©1997-2011 by Lige Dailey Jr., Ph.D.
Romantic Love Style: They believe in love at first sight, and that if love is true, it will overcome every obstacle. A romantic’s love relationships are based on very little factual information, and usually end with shocking surprises and disappointments. Romance enriches life, and the romantics of the world have created great literature, monumental works of art, and spark a constant rediscovery of life and love.
Dependent Love Style: Dependent lovers make their partners the center of the universe. Dependents are very jealous and have an insatiable need for constant attention, reassurance and affection. Typically this style will assume a passive role and allow the partner to decide where they should live, friends, etc. Yet they are consistently caring and supportive of the people they love.
God-Centered Love Style: These lovers place God above everything else. A partner must have a personal connection with God to be an acceptable mate. Principles related to health, communication, sex, divorce, parenting and gender roles are lived according to the scriptures. Adherence to religious guidelines is mandatory. These lovers function best under traditional structures.
Best-Friends Love Style: Best friend styles prefer to relate to their partners as equals, enjoying mutual support, companionship, sharing secrets and laughter. They have usually known and interacted with each other for years before realizing they were in love. Their compatibility is easy and stressless. Their conflicts rarely involve infidelity; more often they are about outside friendships.
Practical Love Style: Practical lovers pride themselves on their ability to live comfortably on a small budget. They are very private people and tend to be disciplined, peaceful and well organized. They like partners who are self-sufficient and not overly needy. Mates are chosen by how they will affect their career and future security. These types often fail to communicate plans, thoughts and ideas to their partners.
Compromise Love Style: Compromise styles usually attempt to make the best out of life’s circumstances without protest. They go with the flow, and consider compatibility more of a mutual adjustment than a zodiac birthright. They’d rather have a dependable partner than a romantic or attractive one. They believe that romantic love is overrated, and that true love takes time to develop. They will often settle for partners that are not their equal.
Ideal Love Style: Ideal lovers could never love anyone they would not consider a suitable partner. They know exactly what they are looking for, and will wait for the one who meets most, if not all of their requirements. They base their partner selection on reality, instead of potential (which is much too unpredictable). They tend to be described as “stuck up” and have great difficulty with frustration and rejection. They will call it “quits” in a heartbeat.
Unconditional Love Style: Unconditional lovers do not need a partner to return their affection in the same ways as it is given, or to the same extent. This style is self-sacrificing and believes it is better to give than to receive. They often play the role of martyr “there is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you.” These partners often lack self-worth and self-love. People with this love style are basically parental in nature and live their live through their partner’s.
Sexual Love Style: Sexual lovers value sexual satisfaction above all other types of sharing. If sexual satisfaction is maintained by their partner, any other relationship conflict can be more easily tolerated and solved. At the first touch of their partner’s hand, this style can tell whether love is a possibility. This type uses sex as a general cure-all for relationship partners, using sex as a substitute for talking and problem solving. When angry, they will most likely withhold sex as “punishment.”
Game Playing Love Style: Game players enjoy searching for truth in their partners. They pry and shake partners to see how they stand up to crises. They prefer partners with a developed sense of humor. Compatible partners must be intelligent, resilient and able to handle the unexpected. They seek a worthy opponent in this game of life, in which everyone participates. They don’t trust others and are generally unethical opportunists.
Self-Centered Love Style: Self-centered lovers tend to avoid intense expressions of love. They shy away from love, because love translates into being responsible for others. They are very guarded about personal freedom and put their needs before their partners. They make few demands on their partner and don’t appreciate the partner making any on them. They are too self-centered to keep commitments; they can only give love if they initiate it and NOT if it is demanded of them.
Status-Seeking Love Style: Status seeking lovers are conscious of social rank and standing. They enjoy being on center stage, and detest the average or typical. They are trendsetters, attracted to high achievers with social status and notoriety. Their partner’s physical attractiveness is also very important to them. Their focus on achieving social status and approval alienates them from others and creates many secret enemies.
Traditional Love Style: Traditional lovers seek partners who can affirm and assist them in satisfying their socialized needs as males and females. They are monogamous and committed to the institution of marriage. Sharing a home and rearing children is key. They expect men to act like men, and women to act like women. Difficulty and frustration can follow if you step outside the boundaries of their traditional social roles.
Consciousness-Expanding Love Style: These lovers are drawn to partners with beliefs and lifestyles which enhance and expand their self-awareness and knowledge. This attraction is not only an intellectual or pleasure-seeking pursuit. It is a reality-based partnership with the primary purpose of sharing uplifting experiences. They are often moody and over committed. Their relationships suffer because they get so “caught up” in their projects and ideas.
Information on purchasing “Do We Really Know what Love Is?” or any of Dr. Dailey’s other works on love and relationships available on his website Your Love Style.