Your Ad Could Be Here
By September 27, 2013



Someone sent me the following quote for review and comment:

“Hey Fellas, if you tell the woman you are with your greatest dreams or your deepest fears and she laughs at you, KNOW that you might be with her, BUT SHE SHO AIN’T WITH YOU! Your woman is supposed to be your biggest cheerleader besides your mama! And if she ain’t cheering for ya, go get the one who will!”

Now on first glance it sounds good, and many men including the one who showed it to me agreed with the premise. I however disagree.

Men need reality checks. Men either allow their fears to pigeonhole and stymie their progress, or they dream big unrealistic, unattainable dreams and set themselves up for failure. They are often too much on their own shit and then they fuck up. Royally. It’s up to women to provide these needed reality checks, too. Men won’t say anything to another man about how silly his thoughts are because it violates the MAN CODE. So they will watch and wait for your man to jack up your world, while they sit back and do nothing to prevent it even if they have the knowledge and experience which might have helped. Young woman rolling her eyes

This is when things get tricky and many women fall short because they don’t understand the difference between being “cooperative and supportive” and being a “mousey doormat.”

A woman that is truly in a man’s corner will TELL HIM when he is headed down a road of fuckery, not grin in his face and pump his head full of smoke just to assuage his ego. You cannot have blind allegiance to a man and his thoughts no matter how off his rocker he is.

That type of woman is a damn Stepford Wife, not a real flesh and blood woman of intelligence who understands that she has invested financially, physically and emotionally in her man. His future is directly tied to hers and any children they have – and when he fucks up he is going to take her and the whole family down with him.

Ya best be speaking up chick!

Anyway, some men’s dreams NEED to be laughed at because they are ridiculously silly. Several examples:

A guy 35 years of age and still walking around wearing jerseys, gold chains, sneakers and baseball caps talking about he’s trying to be a rapper? FOH! Grow up! Get a damn job. I would laugh all in his face and tell him to get real.

Other guys (several) like talking about they want to start businesses. Yet neither of them has taken a class in business management, none of them know the first thing about setting up or running a business, none of them has cracked a book about starting a business, none of them has talked to anyone who knows these things, and one of them has the capital to launch (or knows how to get financing) the business, and no knowledge of how to manage employees or their time to be successful in business. older rapper

Yet they love standing around or sitting on various pieces of furniture talking about how they not gonna “work for the man” because they need to “do my own thing.” FOH! Get a damn job and help pay these bills, like that cable and electricity you love to run all day! I would laugh all in his face, down the block and out the door.

So again, I disagree with this premise entirely. Dreams can quickly turn into nightmares if you don’t know what you are doing. Fears can be turned into accomplishments if you have the courage to feel the fear and do it anyway.

You should only be a cheerleader about a man’s plans if they (1) make total sense to YOU; (2) the concerns you have can be explained and addressed confidently to put your mind at ease and make you feel safe; and (3) your fella has the knowledge and skills to make all his dreams come to fruition because he has done the work required to convince you and the world that he is serious.

Other than that, check his ass – including laughing at him if need be. Who knows, he may end up laughing at himself!

That is all.

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Posted in: Coop's Corner

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