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By August 28, 2013

The Fire This Time: James Baldwin and Feminism

We’re not supposed to tell men “No!” otherwise they might not like us … may not choose us to be their girlfriend or wife. We’re supposed to blend into their world and become an asset to them, while putting our own dreams on hold until he achieves his dreams, or putting them aside forever to be his wife. We’re not supposed to say or do anything which may make him think we’re smarter than he is. We’re not supposed to tell him directly that we’re not interested because we have to protect him from feeling rejected. We’re not supposed to tell men to their face that they are hurting us, acting like a jerk, or being irresponsible because it may push him away.

Women are denied the right to be angry and shamed into acquiescence and silence.

Most girls are taught to use soft tones of voice and polite, politically correct euphemisms which avoid stating hard truths to males because doing so would injure his ego.

But I am a Leo, and you will never, ever see me shy away from telling men about themselves. Women like me who don’t care about or cater to the male ego are viewed as a serious threat. James Baldwin was also a Leo, who did not shy away from telling whites about themselves.

Leo’s do not whisper, we roar. When Leos roar, it’s because some serious bullshit is about to or has already gone down. When Leos roar, consider it your warning shot that the crap you’ve been doing is exposed, and the battle to make things right is about to begin. Lions never lose a fight.

For women, the focus is always on protecting the male ego by being soft, indirect, and gentle in ones choice of words and tone of voice. Though I realize it is smart to “choose your battles” on an individual basis, in the global war against women ALL battles are important and require us to fight like warriors.

Being soft and gentle with men has gotten women exactly nowhere. The men of the world have no reason to voluntarily change the culture of societies which places them in the power seat, as they’re getting everything they want and are quite happy with things exactly as they are. Historically, it is only when women rise up as a group, fight back with determination and make demands that men take us and our needs seriously.

Men as a whole are resistant to feminist ideals due to the fact that, even if they themselves are not overtly sexist in behavior or words, they still benefit immensely from sexism as it exists in our culture today. If we are to survive and thrive as women… if we are to create an environment where our daughters can feel safe and secure as they navigate the world of men, we must consolidate our resources and fight sexism and patriarchy in a systematic, organized, step by step fashion.

The onus for change is always on the party being wronged; the fight for justice forever falls on the victim, not the perpetrator of the crime.

Twisted Loyalty and Gender Roles

Black women are loyal to black men to a fault. Few of us stop to ask ourselves “while I am fighting for and White Knighting for black men, who is fighting for me?”

This female socialization makes me very angry. I hate to see women giving to men in a void, depleting themselves caring for selfish men that feel entitled to take and never give back. Women are trained to take care of everyone else first and put themselves and their needs last. Most moms feel guilty if they tell their family to get lost while they take personal time for a book and a glass of wine. These women feel horrible if their man has a problem and they don’t fix it for him (like he’s a baby). You see them out and about – the woman is looking homely, unfashionable and tired while her man and children are clean, well taken care of and fresh as a daisy.

I hate to see women who believe it is their lot in life to suffer silently from exhaustion or illness, never making demands on their men to step up and assume half the load for the children or household or for HIM to take responsibility for adding spice to their sex life. No, too many women believe it is their “role” to shoulder that burden all by themselves; sadly, many men believe the same.

So the question has to be asked: Am I an angry black woman? Hell yeah! I’m pissed the fuck off!

To me anger, even if accompanied by fear, can be extremely motivating. My motto is and always has been “feel the fear and do it anyway.” I therefore have no problem accepting and embracing my anger. Anger is nothing to be afraid of, and its certainly nothing to be ashamed of when it is directed at the parties who are guilty. It’s okay to be angry at those waging war against and mistreating you. Anger is a feeling that occurs along a continuum and goes from mild eye-rolling irritation to frustration to range. Anger is a reaction to a perceived threat to our peace of mind, the safety of our loved ones or ourself, a threat to our sense of identity, or our freedom. Anger is a warning that something is terribly, terrible wrong. This means that anger at the wrongs women are suffering worldwide is normal and good… denial, complacency and acceptance of negative treatment based on gender is not.

I’ve been faulted for attacking black men. I make no apologies for my attacks. If they weren’t guilty of the charges levied against them, there would be nothing for me to be angry about. Yet, there is something I could get angry about all the time. These behaviors towards women is why I always have things to say and write critical of males. There are hundreds of male attitudes and behaviors damaging to a civilized society, and its women and children. Most men never question these attitudes or behaviors or what they see as their inalienable rights until they are forced to by a very angry woman.

I get angry every time I see women living under the thumb of a husband or boyfriend who demands that she make herself small and less so that he can feel like he is more.

I get angry every time I see a court case where the police have done a great job investigating a sexual assault, and a judge lets the rapist go by saying the child “enticed” him.

I get angry every time I read about another woman murdered because she tried to take her children and leave an abusive fucktard and relationship that was bringing her down.

I get angry every time I hear men make statements which imply they have no responsibility for pregnancies and the woman tried to “trap” them.

I get angry ever time I hear about another minister or pastor molesting children of the congregation in what is supposed to be a house of God.

I get angry every time I hear a news story that a young girl has been snatched off the street, because I know that she is now locked up somewhere being sold as sex slave to other disgusting men.

I get angry every time I hear about a young girl being snatched from her parents and forced to marry some old guy who wants to possess her, not love her.Ribbet collage

I get angry every time I hear that another crusty white man has placed himself in the position of deciding what should go into or come out of women’s bodies, like he is the omnipotent ruler of all that is female.

I get angry every time I see or hear a black person call a black woman “bitter” as they attempt to shame, humiliate and silence her, just because she is brave enough to speak the truth about black male socialization and how it hurts women and children.

I get angry every time I hear another story of a group of men standing around laughing while a female child or woman is being raped or beaten, filming the attack on their cell phones to share with friends and enjoy repeatedly later.

I get angry every time the women in a state sit on their asses and allow men in government to close birth control and abortion clinics.

I get angry every time a woman is called a ho or a slut for enjoying the same sexual experience as the man who is now calling her horrible names.

Anger energizes me to fight men and this society they have created which hurts women and children. Women are more than half the population of the world, and deserve to be free to walk the streets of every nation without being groped or assaulted or snatched off the street never to be seen again.

Women deserve the right to be acknowledged for our intellect, our strengths, and to be appreciated for other than our looks or sex organs.

Women deserve the right to be educated, to participate in the political process, and to determine when or if they bear children.

I get angry at the thought that men believe it is okay for them to prevent women from getting what we want in life simply because of our genitals. This is bullshit and it has to change. Women must stop being loyal to men and instead be loyal to themselves.


(continued on page three below)

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Posted in: Coop's Corner

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