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Page 1 of 7
Let me make this quick so you can get right to the good stuff... baby momma drama, teen angst, child endangerment, fear of rejection, ethnic cleansing, confusion about booty calls, interracial love with black woman and white man, horrible husbands and women who got the role and responsibility of a baby daddy twisted.
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I have been
single for about 3 years now after I let my baby's father go (because he developed
a drug problem). Anyway now he is with a
White girl and she just had his baby.
But I still find myself with feelings about him and that is the girl he
is with already has kids by someone else so why is he taking care of them when
he has three with me and they are all toddlers?
I tried to get child support
from him but in the state of North Carolina if a person is on SSI he or she
does not have to pay child support. I tried to fight this but they are telling
me that it is against the law to take money out of his checks every month for
child support and they cannot do that.
So I've been a
single mom what can I do about that and who should I talk to because I do need
some kind of help. I think that not right some people who are disabled can
still have kids but if they are not married to the women or man they do not
have to pay child support. Please can you help me on this one?
Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
This is a sad dilemma. I really wish you had considered the fact that you were
not married to this man before you had three children. After one "accidental" pregnancy,
you could have prevented this situation from occurring by utilizing proper
birth control methods to make sure you didn't keep getting pregnant over and
over again honey. That behavior makes no sense to me. Marriage is an
institution designed to protect children from these types of situations. Had you been married to him they would have
been provided financial support via his SSI fund until they were of age. Women however have to do their part and
protect THEMSELVES from broke knuckleheads by limiting their mistakes to just
one child.
I'm not sure of
the laws in your state nor how Federal disability might work. But I suggest you visit your local social
services office and discuss the matter with a social worker. Seems that the
children would be eligible for some sort of assistance -- food stamps or
Section 8 housing assistance for example.
Since he is the acknowledged father but on disability, it is my
understanding that the minor dependents would be eligible for something. Check it out and pursue everything available
to them.
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I've been hanging
out with this girl for a few weeks and I have a history of not being aggressive
enough with women...and nothing ends up happening. What's the best way to go
about showing her I'm into her, without saying it? In other words, what is the
best way to be aggressive? Testing physical boundaries? Compliments? Do you
have any type of date ideas? I'm trying to get this area of my dating life
fixed.
Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
When you want to touch her, stop talking yourself out of it. When you want to
tell her how much you like her, stop talking yourself out of it. Men tell
themselves negative things like "oh, you'll look stupid!' or "She
will probably not like it" or "I don't know if I'm doing it
right". Men are their own worst enemies sometimes as you guys project
rejection and failure where there has been none. Even if she isn't as receptive as you might
have hoped, no one ever died from being rebuffed.
To solve your problem, next time you go out on a date just reach out and hold
her hand, or touch her cheek or hair, or lightly rub her back while you look
deep into her eyes with a smile. Do that
when you first see her, and mix those other gestures into the date as the
evening proceeds. That's all you need to
do. She'll get the message.
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