| AskHeartBeat Advice Column 8-22-05 |
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| Written by Ms HeartBeat | ||||
Page 1 of 2 An interesting collection of letters from men and women, all wondering what they are doing wrong which prevents them from getting the love they so desperately want. Dear HeartBeat: I am 26 years old and the woman I planned to marry is 35. I have a good job, educated, secure, etc. and am very good to her. We get along fine except for one thing -- money. She constantly avoids the situation regarding her money. She still lives at home, never has owned a car, has no children, and is employed. Yet she claims she is broke and in debt. I was unaware of these problems when I first proposed. All I want is some help; if we were to be together, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I've tried helping, but it's a subject she chooses not to openly discuss. As a result, I'd rather live alone. Am I selfish for wanting out? Signed, Confused in Indy Dear Confused in Indy: Nope, not selfish. Very, very sensible. This woman is apparently very irresponsible and not motivated to become independent. At the age of 35, she is very much past having Mommy and Daddy take care of her. It appears she wants to move from one dependent situation to another and is looking for a man to come and "save" her – probably from herself! She is a poor choice for a mate, especially for a young man as together and forward-thinking as you are. Actually, you should have known something wasn't right since she has ALWAYS lived at home, never even owned a car, and has no dependents! Could a woman that has never taken full responsibility for herself truly be expected to become a responsible wife and mother? Would you not be stuck taking care of not just the children, but her too? Her life to this point has been lived like that of a child. She is and has the total responsibility of other people! I don't know if her problem is credit cards, gambling or drugs, but whatever is the reason she is broke should not become YOUR problem. Big Baby Girl needs to get her act and life together and grow up. Dear HeartBeat: I met a guy a few weeks ago. I am attracted to him and he toward me, we have great conversations. The only problem is that he is the brother of a guy I had sexual relations with 10 months ago. He is somewhat aware of that relationship and said it was not a problem for him, but I have my doubts. I know from his brother that they do not have a very good relationship and I am afraid that I will make it worse. I care about him and do not know what to do. How do you suggest I handle this situation? Signed, Confused I Am Dear Confused I Am: Unless you are an hors d'oeurve, one should not allow ones self to be passed around and sampled. You have messed up a possibly good relationship with a guy you apparently have much in common with because you couldn't keep your panties on! Neither of these brothers nor their friends and family will hold you in high regard if you go ahead with this nastiness. Anyway, for all you know the first brother went and told his brother about the sex he had with you and how freaky you were or whatever, and that was the second brother's motivation for "accidentally running into" you! There are too many men in the world girlfriend, and sleeping with two brothers is obscene and disgusting. Back yourself up and don't even think about it! |
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