| Online Dating: Log on for a Cyber Date! |
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| Written by Deborrah Cooper | ||||||
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You’re Really a WHAT?
Another difficulty with the Internet is that people feel free to play with different personas. Perhaps the shy guy who rarely dates plays out his fantasies of being a ladies' man; the woman who never uses profanity and rarely speaks up for herself becomes an aggressive, streety smart-mouth while online. A female may pretend to be a male, straight people may pretend to be gay, and married folks may pretend to be single.
"I met this guy online; we've met two times for coffee. This relationship has never really gotten started because he's very mysterious. All I know is his first name, his pager and cell phone number, and he refuses to tell me any more until I kiss him. As time goes by I find myself falling in love with him. He says he is married, then says he was just kidding. My mind says to let him go, but my heart says no."
Others indulge in online flirtations, sometimes to the detriment of their marriage. "My wife has spent at least an hour every evening yakking it up in chat rooms with a bunch of complete strangers. Lately she has been ‘discussing issues’ with one guy in particular. She accuses me of being unreasonably jealous and insecure; I think she doesn't need to be spending so much time ’discussing’ with this guy." Taking This Online Thing Off-line Assuming that your online pal is truly single and not a lunatic, are there "Miss Manners" etiquette rules for taking a friendly online relationship off-line into the real world? Not that I know of. If the curiosity is killing you and you just HAVE to meet your online pal in person, go on and suggest the two of you meet. But I suggest that you prepare yourself for possible rejection. Shy or heartbroken individuals may create Internet relationships because they aren't comfortable with face-to-face intimacy and are there strictly for the entertainment value. Some actually PREFER the anonymity and fantasy of their computer-generated relationships to the real life responsibilities of dating, commitment and accountability. |
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