Men and Cooking

[MsHeartBeat]

Why do men love it so much when a woman cooks for them, especially if she then fixes and brings him a plate of food?  Guys, what is going on in your head when that happens?

And what do you think about a woman that refuses to cook, claims she doesn't know how (and doesn't seem to be interested in learning), or that knows how to cook, but won't cook for YOU?  Does that change how you feel about her... does it reduce her eligibility as a future long-term partner? 

Is cooking a meal an important component of getting a man to commit and stay?  Really, just how important are cooking and cooking skills to modern men and women?

[Starchild]

This is actually an area that I think women should understand better than they do.  For most men, the concern isn't what  you cook or how well you cook it, it's the notion that you care about me enough to want to do that for me.  Even if only sometimes, it's so touching and endearing to have you take care of me in that small (but huge) way.  It says that you care about me.   You ain't even got to be good at it, but you care enough to try....great!  Puts a smile on a man's face.  Lets me know that I can stay with you and be content.  Let's me know that you WANT me to be content.  There is nothing in the world like knowing that a person does things for you because they genuinely care and pleasing you makes them happy.  And that goes for men and women.  Women love for men to do all sorts of things without being asked because they want to know the man cares about them.  That's what you cooking for me is.  And when you fix my plate and bring it to me.....WOW!  Especially in this modern day and age where women don't want to do things like that.  I don't have to go searching, running the streets no more!  Men like being spoiled just as much as women do.  But real men don't want to live off your money and sit at home.  They just want you to make them a sandwich, some toast and eggs in the morning, etc. 

So...when a woman says she can't or won't cook, men are seeing that as a prediction of the future of the relationship...It can definitely be a deal breaker.  She will get left for a better woman who can/ will do that stuff.  The gorgeous woman with the great ass and the amazing BJs will get left for the decently attractive woman who will cheerily make me some toast and jam in the morning.  And it's not that a woman should be cooking for you on the 3rd date, but when a woman is really into you and things are going somewhere, it speaks a lot.  It settles men down.  Ain't nobody trying to wife a woman without any domestic skills or nurturing tendencies.

[Ndgo]

Men + Cooking = Requirement for many women in this day and age. And men should probably also be very adept with doing laundry and making small talk... sometimes, a woman hates a chit-chatty man... being overly chatty is a huge turn off these days. That's why a modern woman will keep a pair of headphones in her purse.... just in case she meets up with a chit-chatty man.... I know I don't hesitate to slip them on... AND women should also keep a book or magazine handy too.... and an iPod/iPhone is just as good.

[devineone]

Interesting comments SC. 

I always get the comments from the guys, " Since you're from the south can you cook?"
Yes I can cook southern foods and I cook healthy foods too since I'm quite health conscious. I enjoy cooking.  However I remember my grandmother telling my mother that she shouldn't "fix my father's plate and bring it to him."  She said that once you start that, he'll expect it all of the time.  (And he surely did). She advised to cook and place the food on the table and everyone can pass their plates around and serve themselves.

Fixing plates are for people who are sick or on special occasions.  She told my mother she wasn't a maid and there ain't no fixing plates around here.  The funny thing is that my mother bless her heart can't cook for anything.  I still shrudder at the meals we had growing up.
Every single Wed, my siblings and I had canned spinach, canned beets, boiled eggs and dried up baked pork chops.  I didn't like beets or spinach until an adult when I finally got fresh ones. Not to mention her "hamburger helper surprise". LOL  
I asked my mom once, why she did that to us.  She didn't remember.    My mother wasn't much of a cook but she liked to eat.
Both my grandmothers could burn and I was right there under them learning all of their secrets.

Recently (last Tuesday), my dept. had a meeting and I brought refreshments, homemade sweet potato pie (with fresh sweet potatos) made from scratch.  The funny thing is that people would say, "I don't like sweet potato pie because they are used to the way they make them up here and mine aren't made like that.  After that meeting not a slice of pie was left. 
I usually bake them this time of year and sell to a few people who give me orders because they know I do this.  Still my sister is a master baker like my grandmother.  She even preserves her own fresh jams just like they did back in the day!

I like to cook, but I love it when a guy cooks for me and I think in general guys can be better in the kitchen than women.  My brother-in-law handles the cooking in his home and man can he burn!  To me there is nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen wearing an apron and nothing else.

[Starchild]

I love to cook and I'd actually expect to do the majority of the cooking in any relationship I'm in .  And I can burn like a mF.  But I ain't wearin no apron. 

[cool breeze]

I love to cook..Nita and I both do..It's a good feeling to prepare a meal for your loved ones and to see them enjoy it..Now that the weather is starting to feel like fall, it's time for the annual Cool Breeze "Country Bama Friday Night Fish Fry"..String up some lights, fry a whole mess of fish, play some Al Green, James Brown and some Motown..Drink some ice cold lemonade..I might even see about renting an Icee machine for the kids..

I have admit that when I was single that a woman's willingness to cook was a deal breaker..I know, I know..Some people are going, "Well, Cool since you like to cook what was the problem?" I can't really put my finger on it, but I don't trust people who don't like to cook..

I mean, this the south and you can't cook? NEXT!! I could understand if we were in the big city, you know..LA, Chicago, New York..But Columbia, SC? NEXT!! New Orleans might be the only city in the States that seems to encourage all it's residents to cook and take pride in cooking..

But for real, why shoot yourself in the foot like that if you're a woman? The dating scene is already filled with enough challenges, why add one more?

That's like a man telling a woman upfront that he ain't got no car, no job, expects her to pay all the bills, do as he says and by the way, he's gonna cheat on you with all your female friends and co-workers who have junk in the trunk..He's not gonna get too many second dates now is he?

Women who let men know upfront that they can't cook aren't using an important weapon in their dating arsenal..Like Starchild said, that's why some many super-duper foine women are single and so many "average looking" women have husbands..Better to be a bad cook, then to tell a cat you ain't gonna cook..Go ahead and cook for that cat even if you burn water..That man will walk through hell in a gasoline suit for you..

[devineone]

I love to cook..Now that the weather is starting to feel like fall, it's time for the annual Cool Breeze "Country Bama Friday Night Fish Fry"..String up some lights, fry a whole mess of fish, play some Al Green, James Brown and some Motown..Drink some ice cold lemonade..I might even see about renting an Icee machine for the kids..

I have admit that when I was single that a woman's willingness to cook was a deal breaker..I know, I know..Some people are going, "Well, Cool since you like to cook what was the problem?" I can't really put my finger on it, but I don't trust people who don't like to cook..

CB, I hope that "mess of fish includes catfish (the steak of the south) LOL .  I love me some catfish.  We would have fish every Friday during Lent.   Here in NYC, I've yet to encounter restaurants that know how to prepare catfish properly but they sure charge an arm and a leg for it!     Properly prepared catfish means the whole gutted catfish minus the head but including the tail on the plate.   And then when they do serve it, they leave out the hushpuppies, most restaurants don't even know how to make them or even know what they are. Don't even get me started about the cole slaw.     And potato salad?  Forget about it, I'm hard pressed to find folks who know what they're doing there too.  I just make my own.
 
As far as men appreciating a woman who cooks, I think that depends on the guy and what's going on in his head with the relationship.  If a guy isn't into you or the relationship, no amount of cooking will help that situation. Some guys would interpret nurturing gestures like cooking and caring as a woman trying to smother them.  

I haven't cooked yet for my new beau, waaay to soon for that.   BTW, since the guys are bragging about cooking, how come they don't post any recipes in the recipe section?
Also CB, my grandfather made the best lemonade.  To this day I'm spoiled when it comes to lemonade, I grew up drinking his lovingly handsqueezed lemonade.

[devineone]

I love to cook and I'd actually expect to do the majority of the cooking in any relationship I'm in .  And I can burn like a mF.  But I ain't wearin no apron. 

Even better, just be mindful of the splatters.

[cool breeze]

Catfish and hushpuppies in NYC?? Good luck..NY may indeed be a cultural mecca, but soulfood ain't one of it's strong points..When I was there some years ago, I wasn't impressed with any of the resturants my cousins took me to..There was this one place that had the worst gumbo I'd ever had--by a country mile..How can you mess up gumbo? 

Devinone, you want recipes? I could post my world famous pink lemonade recipe..

[devineone]

..How can you mess up gumbo? 
Devinone, you want recipes? I could post my world famous pink lemonade recipe..

You can mess up gumbo by leaving out the okra.  You'd be amazed at people who claim they can make gumbo and leave out the main ingredient that makes the 'roux' in gumbo.  I'm ready for that pink lemonade recipe CB, bring it on. 

[Keba]

Catfish and hushpuppies in NYC?? Good luck..NY may indeed be a cultural mecca, but soulfood ain't one of it's strong points..When I was there some years ago, I wasn't impressed with any of the resturants my cousins took me to..There was this one place that had the worst gumbo I'd ever had--by a country mile..How can you mess up gumbo? 

No he didn't just say that New Yorkers can't cook!!...no he didn't!!    Coolbreeze, you just haven't met the right New Yorkers.  After you had some of my homecooking, you'll be like "South Carolina?!!...I's a New Yorker now, y'all!!" hahahahahahahahaha!...

[cool breeze]

Devineone, here's a simple one that we use for our lemonade stand in the summer...

Old Fashioned Pink Lemonade Recipe


Ingredients:                                                                                                                           
 
1 1/4 cup sugar (If  you're using unsweetened cranberry juice, 1 cup if using sweetened)
4 cups water (divided)
1 cup cranberry juice (Ocean Spray is the best)
1 cup lemon juice( Six fresh lemons squeezed)



1 Make a "simple syrup" by heating sugar and 1 cup of the water in a small saucepan until the sugar is completely dissolved. Remove from heat.

2 Stir together the remaining water, cranberry juice, lemon juice and simple syrup in a pitcher. Place the pitcher in the fridge for about an hour and serve over ice in glasses.

[cool breeze]

No he didn't just say that New Yorkers can't cook!!...no he didn't!!    Coolbreeze, you just haven't met the right New Yorkers.  After you had some of my homecooking, you'll be like "South Carolina?!!...I's a New Yorker now, y'all!!" hahahahahahahahaha!...

 

Keba, you know y'all city slickers can't burn..New York is great city, but come on now: Y'all can't cook!! 

[Keba]

Yes, Starchild is correct... Men love for women to cook for them and serve it to them.  Cook a man a good meal and serve it to him and you'll have him bouncing off the walls.  It seems like such a small thing but it's huge to a man.  I love to cook and I don't mind serving my significant other his plate...sometimes...LOL

[Keba]

Keba, you know y'all city slickers can't burn..New York is great city, but come on now: Y'all can't cook!! 

Oooooooooooh, Coolbreeze!... you better not ever come up here and taste my cooking because I'm gonna make you eat your words!!!....LOL    You know, my parents are from the south, so I got some of that southern country cooking in me too.    

Shoot, I'll have Starchild calling me Momma and looking all goofy-eyed after he eats my dishes...LOL