Homely People

[devineone]

Hmmm. It's interesting to note how the guys say they'll take this woman over that woman and compare physical attributes.  It’s as if women are mindless possessions and if they were standing in front of the guys, then they would be theirs for the taking and all the guys have to do is just scoop ‘em up and “take ‘em. LOL 

No where do I hear, “If she would have me", I’d want to go out with her, date her, or anything like that.  The phrasing is always with the assumption that the girls just have to be there and available, and the guys would take ‘em and the girl would be flattered. 

Do these guys ever wonder if the opportunity presented itself for them to meet these women, would these women want to be “taken” by them?

[Legacy]

http://www.fstdt.com/funnyimages/uploads/73.jpg

[devineone]

If Beyonce left Jayz tomorrow and you chanced to randomly meet her and this was your one chance to make an impression, what traits do you possess that would make her want to be with you?

[philnation]

Hmmm. It's interesting to note how the guys say they'll take this woman over that woman and compare physical attributes.

Hmmm.  It's interesting how context is apparently forgotten quickly, or maybe I missed something here.  I was under the impression that the scope of this particular thread was the role of a person's physical appearance.

[devineone]

Phil the gnat is starting to buzz.  Isn't it interesting how you don't challenge The Shepherd about context when he brought up questions that were unrelated to the original topic at hand.  In fact he brought up 2 year old stuff, yet you didn't buzz around his topic challenging him at all.
Yet the minute I post something you don't like, here you come a buzzing.  Whatz up with that?  If you're going to buzz do it with everyone, don't be discriminating.  Or is it your nature to be discriminating due to your DNA makeup? (LOL that's something the Shep would say).

Could it be my question struck a nerve?  I've heard what you look like.

[devineone]

I know this sounds mean, but really, what each of us determines to be "homely" is as varied as our tastes in cars clothes and ice cream!  Therefore what YOU see as an unattractive homely or even downright ugly person might not be seen that way by me.

But I want to put this question on the floor for discussion.

Say you meet someone that you feel is not that attractive physically.  How readily would you give that person a chance to get to know you?

Getting to this one question, I will say that there are universal standards of what is considered attractive and what is considered homely.  However if I met someone who I initially felt wasn't attractive physically to me but he displayed a nice personality/ways and had that "somethiing" about him that drew me in, then I'd go for him in a heartbeat and I have dated guys who others wouldn't necessarily consider "all that' in the looks department.   But they had something else going for them in a big way and that made all the difference in the world in my book. (And it wasn't money or sex).

I have gone out on dates with guys I didn't find initially attractive and I've gone out on dates with guys I have found attractive.  Ultimately what determined if successive dates would follow is their personality and how they treated me on the date, and how I treated them and if we clicked in the ways that matter.  In another thread, (touchy, feely) I went out with a guy who I didn't find initially attractive but prior to the date, he seemed nice, courteous and a gentleman.  All that changed when he got a little liquor in his system). 

I went out on a date with a guy who I found handsome and I was physically attracted to him.  He also attempted to take a few too many liberties and that ended our date.  He kept trying to get me to go home with him after only one date!   I thought he was hot, but dayum, not that hot!

IMO a good looking guy with a not so great personality isn't really a prize.  I would imagine the reverse would be true if a guy had a good looking woman but she had "ugly" ways.  If a guy is homely and on top of that he had "homely ways/attitude" then that's just really messed up because he has nothing going for him.  He'd better have a wallet or something. LOL   And the same would go for a woman who is not attractive and had unattractive ways/attitude.

Looks can be what will get you noticed, but personality/behavior I think determines your staying power. 

[philnation]

Phil the gnat is starting to buzz.  Isn't it interesting how you don't challenge The Shepherd about context when he brought up questions that were unrelated to the original topic at hand.

No, but I think it is interesting that you try to get on a moral high horse with a flawed premise, then change the subject and resort to another personal attack when that flawed premise is pointed out.

[devineone]

bzzz, bzzz, bzzz.  Phil the little gnat.
bzzz   bzzz  bzzz
Phil if you don't have the ballz to go after The Shep then don't you come after me.  Notice if I have something to say to the guyz I will say what I have to say to them one and all.
You pick and choose who you want to buzz around and it's mainly me and maybe one or two other black female posters.  It's just like The Shep said, you're a coward.  You're too scurred to challenge him.   Why won't you answer the rest of his questions?  They weren't all statements.

You're a fine one to talk about hostiliity.  You can admire all the beautiful black women you want, but from what I've witnessed on this forum and your interaction with me and some others, you sure don't seem to like the black women in general all that much and I personally haven't witnessed anything you have going for you that any of them would grant you the time of day.  Could it be you're just mad cause you ain't getting no play from them the way you want? LOL

why he desires so much to be here,
what he gets from this site,
his off-board interactions with black people
his reasons for being so fascinated with black folks,
whether he dates black women, why he does or doesn't date black women, etc, etc

Come on with it now Inquiring minds want to know.

[devineone]

No, but I think it is interesting that you try to get on a moral high horse with a flawed premise, then change the subject and resort to another personal attack when that flawed premise is pointed out.

BTW, in case you didn't know.  You're not a post moderator.  If someone posts some thoughts and another poster reads them and decides to address that particular post rather than the original topic thread, that's ok.  That's what happens in an open forum.  People post their thoughts, someone reads them and they post the thoughts that came to them from reading the post.  It's not a closed thread at least I don't recall Ms. HB putting a hard and fast rule like that.  Ocassionally threads will go off topic.  I didn't see you complaining when other posters skewed the original topic.    But you're all over me when I say something you don't like. bzzz, bzzz, bzzz.  I struck a nerve.  LOL and little gnatty Phil didn't like it boohoo hoo.   You know where you can go if you get too uncomfortable here.  You get no brownie points for seniority. LOL 

[devineone]

You post this and....nothing.  Absolutely no response. 

Devineone, Philnation has been on this board for quite some time. I generally didn't interact with him. Not because I didn't like him, but because I came to this board specifically to interact with black people. Now, I don't have a problem with Philnation being a member of this board. We've have a few white members, and when I first joined there was an Asian female on the board with I interacted extensively with.

However, I do question the motivations of non-black members on this board. A couple of years back (2006?) Philnation made a comment about in a thread about it being a good time for openness and dialogue between the races. So, I invited him to be a pioneer and begin this dialogue by explaining to US, this board, why he desires so much to be here, what he gets from this site, his off-board interactions with black people, his reasons for being so fascinated with black folks, whether he dates black women, why he does or doesn't date black women, etc, etc...

... I remind him that there are still plenty of inquiring minds that want to know his reasons for being so drawn to black folks and a black message board.

He'll never do it. Why? Cowardice, spite, the Palin syndrome (an aversion to tough questions), whatever the reason, the issue will not go away. How could it?

OK, I'm derailing the original topic post.

I have a problem with it.  For the following reasons:  I come on this board to interact and learn from people of color. (I.e. anything but caucasian)   I feel that for the most part, we've got some pretty intelligent accomplished, educated black folxs up in here and for the most part they are providing an enriched environment where we can debate, spar, share ideas, vent our grievances, learn from each other as from the black perspective.
 
If a white person is going to be on this forum, then he's got to be extraordinary in my book in order to "add to the convo".  He can't be just some ordinary white person who is buzzing around like a pest, while not really adding anything to the forum in any way.  Hell, if we must have white members, I've got some white friends off site who are a dayum sight more hip than Phil and can bring a wealth of information and perspective that I have yet to see come from him.  That mediocre shyt he brings could go somewhere else.  Just like black folks got to be better than good to get somewhere, then a white person invading a black forum, needs to be able to bring something to the table to make him worthwhile.  He can't be up in this thread being an average old Joe six pack.
 
In going back browsing through the remaining threads on this site (too much time on my hands lately).  I haven't seen anything extraordinary he's brought to justify him being here.  I have to interact with white folks all the time everyday on my job, off the job and when I come to a forum that is obviously geared for black folks to interact, only to see some caucasian guy buzzing around and then someone who ain't adding anything much on top of that, I'm like well dayum!
 
Since Phil won't answer the questions you posed, I'm drawing my own conclusions.
I have not seen where he has openly supported Obama the way the rest of the posters have (Does that mean he is for McCain?)  Not on any of the many threads has he come out to voice his support.  He only said one thing against Palin, but then that doesn't count as many republicans dislike McCain's VP pick.  That's his choice to vote for who he chooses, but it only fuels my distrust for him being here.
 
The only time he gets animated is when there is a topic about women/relationships and since he's on this thread about black folks, then is he here to try to interact online with the black women?  But his interactions have been negative.  I'm not impressed with the attitude he has shown towards the women here.  He's made statements about women being trifling, being baby mamas engaging in sex too much. Since this is forum of mostly people of color, and mainly women of color, I can't help but conclude he is talking about the black woman.  Shyt, I can't deal with hearing that flying from some white guy's lips.  What about the white women?   
 
Yet he talks about the black women he finds attractive, but what does he have going for him?  This is that old slave master mentality.  By default a white guy thinks he's bestowing a privilege on a black woman by finding her attractive. 
 
 
Phil got some nerve and I could give a dayum if he’s been here for a while.  My tolerance for white folks trying to front is low at best and he trusts to come on a mostly all black thread and show his little gnatty white azz out on me!!  Now black folks I can deal with showing theirs, but a white person coming on a forum geared for black folks and trying to “front?! WTF?!!!  

I don’t trust a lone white poster on a mostly all black forum either.  WTF is his reason for being here?  Why can’t he go on and be with his own kind and if he is here he needs to chill out and STFU!! Speak when spoken to.  I don’t give a dayum about his opinion.  I’m like Shep, I deal with white folks all day long at work, and in other areas.  When I come to a forum clearly delineated for people of color to interact, vent freely and discuss ideas as affects “black folks”, I am not interested in hearing from a little white gnat of his ilk buzzing around invading the boards with his so called thoughts. There are far more “white boards for him to go and interact on the internet, what the heck is he doing here? Is it the spy syndrome in effect? (Keep your enemies close)?   
 
According to The Shep, he stated that he'd like to engage in talks about open racial dialogue and since I’ve been here, I haven’t seen him jump into discussions about racial dialogue and add anything worthy from a white folks perspective.  There are many, many topic threads about racial issues, and I've yet to see him contribute and shed some insight from a white perspective.  So much for that talk about open discussion between the races.  What I have seen is he's all over a post that has anything to do about women. (i.e. black women) sex and relationships.  He is more than happy to post his thoughts on those matters.

Phil is just up in this forum sniffing behind black women because that's as close as he'll get to one.  In real life, no black women in her right mind would give someone like him the time of day.  Homely on the inside, and out!  Nothing to recommend there.  So far his only purpose has been to buzz around the black women to try to get attention from them the only way he can.. online.  Cause he probably ain’t getting no play in real life. The gnatty little coward!!!

Phil, STFU!!  Remember a white guy on a mainly all black board is a privilege.  You're tolerated, which is probably more than 'your kind" would do if a lone black person was posting on an all white board.  But then I'm not interested in doing that.  I live in a white world in everyday life.

[philnation]

Since Phil won't answer the questions you posed, I'm drawing my own conclusions.

Q.E.D.

I learned long ago the difference between a question and a statement in disguise, as well as the reality that responding to one of the latter is a waste of time and energy.  One need not defend or explain him/herself to anyone who is already convinced one way or the other.  Supporters don't need it and opponents will never believe a word they say.  Opponents are entitled to their beliefs, just as one is entitled to not waste time and energy engaging them on it.

[devineone]

I learned long ago the difference between a question and a statement in disguise, as well as the reality that responding to one of the latter is a waste of time and energy.    Opponents are entitled to their beliefs, just as one is entitled to not waste time and energy engaging them on it.

I see, so the restraint you show in avoiding The Shep's questions is that you don't want to waste "time and energy".  Yet you're up in here using your "time and energy" buzzing around my posts "engaging" me when you're disgruntled by something I write.  But when you're disgruntled with the Shep, you can't be bothered to waste your precious time and energy to  "engage" him, and he's stated that he welcomes a dialogue with you.   GTFOH!!

You don't fool me Phil, I see right through you in a lot of ways.

I see the reason for your timidity in 'fronting' the Shepherd (opponent), and the convenient excuse you give yourself for avoiding his questions/open dialogue.  Not only are you too much of a coward to face his questions, you're afraid of what will get drawn out and brought to light.  If it's nothing then just say.  You're up in this black forum hanging with black folks assuming a camaraderie with the brothas, especially when it comes to issues between the sexes, (that's just about all you post about). Yet you refuse to shed light when a brotha (in an effort to understand you, the lone white guy poster), questions your motivation for being here.

I see your antagonistic attitude/behavior displayed especially against me and a few other black women in this forum while at the same time, you trust to lust after black women.

Well since you say you can't be bothered, why don't you exercise that same restraint (cowardness) you claim to have for not engaging the Shep, and stay the hell off my posts! 
Buzz off!!