Nexting Stupid Friends As We Move Into 2009

[MsHeartBeat]

I am starting to wonder if my standards are too high for current society or something.  I'm going in 2009 a lot leaner on the "friendship" tip than I entered 2008.  I swear, I've had to cut a few folks loose this year for being stupid.  Let me give you some examples.

A friend of mine has a small business wherein she does marketing and pr for various people, companies, non-profits, etc. Her business hasn't been doing well.  (We've all taken hits so that isn't surprising).  Did she get up and get a job?  No, she would rather be evicted from apartment after apartment than be a responsible adult.  Keep in mind this woman is in her late 50s, not a kid.  She drives her mother's car and leaves it in a tow away area, and the car got towed.  She had the gall to get angry at her Mom for complaining and yelling at her!  What?? 

Last eviction she had her things in storage but no money to pay the bill so she lost everything.  I had extra forks, towels, bowls, artwork, candles, hand mixer, etc. so I hooked her up.  So did other friends, actually relieved to get that crap out of the house.  I even gave her some groceries. Do you know this heffa had the nerve to call me and complain that she couldn't open the canned goods cause she didn't have a can opener?  I went off like a rocket.  "Get your fat ass up and go to the store and get one, okay?  Don't you EVER call me complaining about anything I do for you cause I didn't HAVE TO do shyt! Don't worry though, cause I sure won't be giving you anything else.  You are spoiled and ungrateful with a horrible sense of entitlement." 

Final straw was she needed help with a website for a non-profit.  She wanted to get the money asap to pay for the rest of her December rent.  She was bugging the crap out of me for a week while I was sick.  So now that I'm well, I got the info from her, colors they wanted, and put the thing together and uploaded in on the AHB server for review.  I had to wait 3 days to get ftp information to upload the site onto their server after she was bugging me 2-3x a day for a week?  WHAT!???

Now she is only giving me $300 of whatever she is billing, so you don't get no fantabulous website for $300, even if you are a good friend.  It's NICE but not fantabulous.  But she had the nerve to write and say "White background?  That's so stark!"  Lady!  In the future you are gonna do your OWN stuff and leave me out of it.

Another friend (male) is married.  I've known him for about 12 years.  He and his wife of 4 years just had a baby.  But about a month ago this fool called me and suddenly he wants to get busy.  With me.  What?!?  He says he ain't had none and his wife is pregnant and don't wanna do nothing and can I help him out.  I won't even put here what I told him because I don't want you all to know me like that. 

No time for the b.s.  The fact that he thought it was okay to come at me like that is hard for me to comprehend.  I didn't want to think about it too much though, so I am cutting him loose.

Anyone else considering going through this type of housecleaning?

[Bambi eyes]

Another friend (male) is married.  I've known him for about 12 years.  He and his wife of 4 years just had a baby.  But about a month ago this fool called me and suddenly he wants to get busy.  With me.  What?!?  He says he ain't had none and his wife is pregnant and don't wanna do nothing and can I help him out.

Now that is just disgusting...better yet there are no words to describe what that is.  Ewwww, haven't heard a story like that one ever... these men and women out here are simply crazy.  Of all the nerve.    I know you must have been heated after that exchange... people never cease to amaze me.  And 12 years before he showed his azz!!  Wow!! 

[cool breeze]

Another friend (male) is married.  I've known him for about 12 years.  He and his wife of 4 years just had a baby.  But about a month ago this fool called me and suddenly he wants to get busy.  With me.  What?!?  He says he ain't had none and his wife is pregnant and don't wanna do nothing and can I help him out.  I won't even put here what I told him because I don't want you all to know me like that. 

No time for the b.s.  The fact that he thought it was okay to come at me like that is hard for me to comprehend.  I didn't want to think about it too much though, so I am cutting him loose.

I would have told him to use his right hand..Loser..I feel for his wife, being married to a jack azz like him..

[tigerlilly]

EXCELLENT THREAD! (Good companion to the "When it's time to trim the fat" thread)  The first example is mind-boggling.       Woman is one ungrateful, dumb heffa.  I have a few to contribute, but gotta go wrap Christmas presents so I'll be back later.  Happy Holidays, everyone!   

later -

Okay, here goes:

Do you know this heffa had the nerve to call me and complain that she couldn't open the canned goods cause she didn't have a can opener? 

NO, SHE DIDN’T.    Can openers are only a dollar or two.  She needs to be kicked to the curb for sure!

Here’s a few of my examples:

Woman 40 yrs old with 2 kids, struggling, but still dealing with her kid’s daddy (deadbeat dad, coming around her starting fights, drunk half the time, she calls police, etc. etc.).  She got fired (not laid off) a year ago, and collected unemployment for 6 months but admitted she didn’t bother to look for a job.  Two weeks before unemployment ran out she frantically applied for jobs (of course we all know how bad the job market has been).  She was lucky to get a job.  Soon as she did her kids’ daddy got evicted from his place so he asked her to take in his big dog ‘temporarily’.  She KNOWS she’s not allowed to have pets at her place.  Dog bit a neighbor’s kid, now she’s facing a lawsuit.  To top it off, she was informed by unemployment dept. that they want all the money back because of some glitch in her claim (I don’t know what that means, but whatever).  Anyway, they have started to garnishee her wages.  I feel bad for her kids, but this woman has made her own problems as long as I’ve known her and is way too full of d-r-a-m-a.  Always has an excuse.  Always asks for advice but never takes it. (When the dog issue first came up I told her to tell him to give dog to animal shelter or put an ad on Craig’s list.  I also felt that her keeping ex’s dog was another excuse for him to come by and reminded her that dogs – esp big dogs – are impossible to hide.)  I’m done; NEXT.

Guy I know got hurt in auto accident couple yrs ago.  Earlier this yr he got a $50k settlement.  (Nice chunk of money, but it’s not like he won the lottery.  I wouldn’t be telling everyone how much, if I were him.)  Of course, hr buys a new car, some new expensive clothes, and a big flat screen tv.  Didn’t save a dime and soon it was gone.  He got laid off in November and has been behind in his bills, so now he is in hot water.  Last time I heard from him he was going on and on about how his credit cards are maxed out and he’s getting utility shut-off notices.  Oh, well.  I can’t even be bothered.  NEXT.

[devineone]

Another friend (male) is married.  I've known him for about 12 years.  He and his wife of 4 years just had a baby.  But about a month ago this fool called me and suddenly he wants to get busy.  With me.  What?!?  He says he ain't had none and his wife is pregnant and don't wanna do nothing and can I help him out.  I won't even put here what I told him because I don't want you all to know me like that. 
No time for the b.s.  The fact that he thought it was okay to come at me like that is hard for me to comprehend.  I didn't want to think about it too much though, so I am cutting him loose.

Trifling indeed Ms. HB and for that so called male friend of 12 years to even approach you like that.  It's beyond words.  He acted as if you were some kind of call girl or something.  Besides the fact that he wants to cheat on his wife, he has absolutely no respect for you as his friend.  He must have been eyeing you and lusting after you all of this time.
Yes indeed 2009 is a time for nexting trifling friends.  So far in my case, knock on wood, I've had some good friends.  It's certain trifling family members that give me grief now and then.  They're the ones who usually show up at holiday gatherings and you wish they would stay at home, but they know when to come out of hiding during "gift giving time".  Of course they have no gifts to give, but they sure as heck know how to "get gifts". 

[Ndgo]

Yep... ita... get rid of the dead weight....

There's a woman on my job (well, she'll have a job until the end of February)... anyway... she's got 4 kids.... 2 of them too young for school. She lives in an apartment paying over $1,500 a month in a complex that also accepts Section 8 vouchers...     She's got a husband (thank goodness - same father to all the kids) who's in retail sales, selling tvs, electronics and stuff... no commission... They are habitually broke - been trying to finalize bancrupcy paperwork for over a year... They've got masking tape holding up her bumper on a mini-van... hubby financed a car for himself... paying over 400 a month for a used car over 5 years old... she STILL has braces on her teeth from when she was a child because she can't afford to get them removed... some of them have been scrapped off... every other tooth still has metal on it... They live at the payday loan place... doing loans every other week.... AND STILL bouncing checks.... ALWAYS missing payments on utility bills... NEVER able to pay the electricity bill on time or fully... making partial payments, begging to keep their lights on, phones on.... playing with the float time on their ATM bankcard so that they can get to the gas station and get just enough gas to get to work... (they know there's a 2 day lag time before it hits their bank account)

she won't have a job in 3 weeks... hasn't even tried to look for a job because according to her... "God will provide and look after her".... just did their taxes and they are getting over $8,000 back from the govment... AND what do you think her plans are with all that money??

Number #1 prioity is to get her son a bedroom set... he's 8... and sooooo how much money do you think she's budgeting for it? OVER FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!

I have tried to talk to this woman... tried to reason with her....tried to get her to wait until she at least gets another job BEFORE she spends any money...

You know it's a hopeless cause...   

Prime candidate for nexting in 2009... THAT's FOR SURE!

[tigerlilly]

They are habitually broke - been trying to finalize bancrupcy paperwork for over a year... They've got masking tape holding up her bumper on a mini-van... hubby financed a car for himself... paying over 400 a month for a used car over 5 years old... she STILL has braces on her teeth from when she was a child because she can't afford to get them removed... some of them have been scrapped off... every other tooth still has metal on it... They live at the payday loan place... doing loans every other week.... AND STILL bouncing checks.... ALWAYS missing payments on utility bills... NEVER able to pay the electricity bill on time or fully... making partial payments, begging to keep their lights on, phones on.... playing with the float time on their ATM bankcard so that they can get to the gas station and get just enough gas to get to work... (they know there's a 2 day lag time before it hits their bank account)

Ndgo, OMG!!!!!!  I read your post 3 times.     This is a seriously messed up chick.!!!   

Your story sure gets MY vote.  As they say, truth is stranger than fiction.

[Ndgo]

I even feel bad talking about the girl like that... seriously, I know it would truly hurt her feelings IF she read what I posted but DANG... the whole reason I posted it was because she was soooo extreme.... and she mistakes my interest in her during work hours for something that might continue after hours but hey.... eventually it has  to come  down to some realism.... we gave nothing in common. Her lifestyle is over whelming to me. Her relgioius beliefs give her license to do some really weird, irresponsible things in my book.  And I haven't mentioned the half of it...

I'm stuck for the next couple of weeks... somewhere in New Jersery... AND know I even have my boss questioning me on IF I'll be able to maintain a friendship with this girl once we all get canned... I had to tell him to get real.... birds of a feather, flock together and that's NOT how I roll. NOT that I'm trying to be all judgemental... but dang, I've tried my best to reason with the girl... sometimes, that's all you can give ... she can take it or leave it...

But me personally, I'd at least remove the braces from my teeth before I got a 4k  bedroom set for my ONE child... And she constantly hounds me for my advice on her dream homes.... I have tried to tell her that people making less than 70k a year do not have enough money to pay the mortgage on a 450k+ house... I sent her a mortgage calculator spreadsheet 10 months ago. 

This women's life is a train wreck... but I'm really not one to judge....

[Ndgo]

     And it must be the full moon tonight...but I just got a DEAR NDGO email out of the blue cutting me loose from a person that I literally have not seen let alone dated in 3 years... How the heck are they going to cut me loose from something that we never had? Weird... I didn't even know I was on the starting line-up in the 1st place. They got nexted 3 years ago... did I forget to send the email? Nevermind... I formally REnexted them for this year... actually, I'm not even going to respond to the email... How can you be done with something that you never started... must be the full moon or something...

Is the world finally coming to an end or something.... why are people trying to tie up all these loose ends?  I'm just sitting here minding my own darn business... why bother to reacquant yourself with someone you want to dump.... That more than a little presumptious, I think...

Must be something about New Jersery... I am sooo ready to go home!!!!! I can't believe I'm stuck here for weeks in a NASTY hotel room!!!! I must have done somebody really wrong in a past life... lol... and a holiday weekend is coming up... OMG! what could be worse? This has to be a dream!

[tigerlilly]

My mother would give me ‘the look’ if she heard me say this, but I have a little problem with these folx who livin all messed up  lives and sayin “The Lawd will provide”.

I doubt even Suze Orman could help her.  That girl is compounding her problems and is not facing reality.  She should avoid those payday loan places like the plague.  That 8 yo does not need a new BR suit. I bet he would love an air mattress with batman/spiderman sheets and pillow.  Or, she could get USED furniture. I bought my dinette set and 2 lamps used (craigs list estate sale), it's beautiful.   I’ve had my money troubles but I couldn’t sleep with utility shutoff notices every month and play that 'beat the ATM' game.  Too much stress.

Ndgo I meant to ask, did your company make it a condition that you have to train new people in order to get severance pkg?  I've heard of that.  Sucks.

Your boss - "maintain a friendship with her?"    

[devineone]

Or, she could get USED furniture. I bought my dinette set and 2 lamps used (craigs list estate sale), it's beautiful.   I’ve had my money troubles but I couldn’t sleep with utility shutoff notices every month and play that 'beat the ATM' game.  Too much stress.

Exactly Tigerlily.  I bought a nice butchers cabinet and microwave table, kitchen table and two chairs all from craigs list and all solid wood. (The family was moving).  I furnished my entire place with used furniture from someone who was moving out of the States.  I've been lucky in never really having to buy furniture.  My brother-in-law, the 'woodchuck" we like to call him, refurbishes and builds just about anything he sees.  He has always provided me with really nice antique furniture he got from yard and estate sells.  He knows how to fix them up.

Ndgo this woman needs to learn how to do that.  Have her watch HGTV design on a dime and read a few Suzie Orman books, but then she probably won't do that.  She is suffering from some sort of mental dysfunction and lack common sense.  She needs therapy of some sort. She's going to ruin that son of hers to with her dsyfunction.  He's going to grow into a man and not be worth anything to a future potential mate. 

[tigerlilly]

devineone, I luv me some craigslist!     Sometimes I like to just look at stuff on the site, just for fun.  I don’t but anything without seeing a photo.  I did buy a new sofa and end tables last yr, but I’ve been very pleased with the items I bought.  And let’s not forget the thrift shops. After spending good money for yrs on new things for the kitchen, etc. I found some beautiful plates, cups, and glasses at Goodwill thrift shop.  They also have an online store.  But I like to go in on a Saturday afternoon and just browse.  I got some really cute ‘nicknacks’ for my mantle – paid less than $10  for all of them combined.

But, I wonder of the woman Ndgo would even do things like that.  She has some serious problems.  Poor thing don't realize the good feeling that comes from paying the bills on time.  She should salt that $8k away for an emergency fund (maybe start a small savings acct for each child), but I doubt she will.  With her getting laid off soon, tougher times are on the horizon.     But, "lead a horse to water", etc.

[Kamilah]

I know what you mean....you may need to relocate; it could be your living surroundings went out of style; the friends you had

=)