Are You Afraid of Love?

[MsHeartBeat]

I was wondering about that.  Seems like most people would rather just have some shallow sexual interaction than open their heart and soul up and really connect with another person.  Jazmine Sullivan sings about it in her song Lions, Tigers and Bears.

Does love scare you too?  If so, why do you think that is? 

And if you are afraid of love, what kind of relationship can you truly ever hope to have?

[Informed Investor]

I don't think anybody is afraid of love. I think most people are afraid of hurt. Certain things are apart of the package you get when you are born. Love, hate, sickness, death are things you don't have much control over so there is no need to stress about them. Whenever I experience any pain I always think it could be worse. Hell i almost died in a car wreck recently so i look at it like I could be dead. A woman breaking my heart isn't something I fret over. People have to learn to take the hit and roll with the punches. You will get knocked down but it’s about how many times you get up. I'm going to keep getting up until you kill me...

[devineone]

I was wondering about that.  Seems like most people would rather just have some shallow sexual interaction than open their heart and soul up and really connect with another person.  Jazmine Sullivan sings about it in her song Lions, Tigers and Bears.

I think people fear what society thinks if the person they love doesn’t fit in what ‘society’ thinks they ought to have.  'Society' could be anyone or anything where that person cares more about what society thinks over what they claim to care about for the person they love.  The pressure to conform is stronger than the love they claim to have for their SO. 

People who don’t really understand how to give and receive love, feel threatened when they meet someone who draws out the depth of feelings they have inside and haven’t faced themselves, let alone face with someone else. People don’t like feeling vulnerable and to really love someone and open yourself up to love, allows a power over them that they aren’t sure they can trust or handle.

Real love on a deep level is all powerful and not everyone is equipped to handle that type of power without exploiting it and abusing it somehow, nor are they able to handle having someone have that type of power over them. Real love requires a level of committment and responsibility and selfless actions that some find hard to give.

I really like the lyrics of that song by Sullivan.

[cool breeze]

People are afraid of getting hurt but more importantly nowadays, love is wayy too complicated a concept for the average Joe with his short attention span..Those folks just settle for lust..Lust is also being marketed 24/7 to sell everything from toothpaste to BMWs..Hedonism is what folks are encouraged to seek..

Heck, given how easily folks get wild and loose at the drop of a hat, you'd have to say that love is rare and lust is the norm..

Here in our office building, a real estate firm had a little party last friday..Folks there got wild and started clamoring for a couple of the women to kiss and make out in front of everybody..Now, these ain't young people just out of college--these are grown azz folks in their 30s and 40s..Some with kids in college..

If the adults are all about "hit and run", is it any wonder that love seems old fashioned to the young people?

[devineone]

love is wayy too complicated a concept for the average Joe with his short attention span..Those folks just settle for lust....Hedonism is what folks are encouraged to seek..
Heck, given how easily folks get wild and loose at the drop of a hat, you'd have to say that love is rare and lust is the norm..

Great post CB.  I was talking to a retired friend of mine about this topic thread and he had some interesting thoughts to share that echo your thoughts as well. 

"Why do you think things have gotten this way? Do you think it’s regional or the norm everywhere? I can see lots of things that contribute to it. Let’s take education to begin with. I’m no authority because I haven’t sat in the classrooms, but it seems that sex education is all about just that… sex, and preventing pregnancies, not about how two people should behave in a relationship. I could go on and on about this because it gets to fundamental problems with the educational system itself, but to the point, it’s just about sex, imho. Next is how women are often characterized in movies, especially ones like 007, etc. I enjoy these movies as much as the next person, but they’re for adults. The problem arises when adolescents see them and think that sort of behavior is the norm. It’s the promiscuous, fast gun, violence, drug infested, race car, demolition derby mentality that the young folks seem to pick up on. And since it’s openly available in movies, TV, etc., it all gets accepted as o.k. The next thing is violent video games. I saw it last weekend when a wii computer was set up to entertain the kids. Again it was ‘who could get the other guy’ first, with whatever weapon of choice. Little kids barely in grade school were ecstatic in their addiction to it. If all this isn’t enough, the worst offenders of all are the parents. They allow all this to happen right in front of their eyes, and when the school tries to exercise some sort of modest control, the parents are in there blaming the teachers, threatening lawsuits and actually suing the school system. This gives the kids the impression they can do anything, that mommy and daddy will buy them out of it, so teachers be damned. And with each generation the parents get worse and worse because it’s what they grew up with themselves. And don’t get me started on sports…

 Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a religious right conservative by any means, in fact I tend to be right down the middle… a centrist if you will, with a bit of libertarianism thrown in. But growing up in a time when the things like… love, marriage, devotion, romance, etc.,… were accepted and revered, I can see how different the standards people lived by in my time were, compared to today’s. Just look at the old movies on TCM. Although often corny in their style and presentation, the basic values were there and were accepted and appreciated as normal at the time. I think all of the above is being reflected in how young people grow up relating to each other. And it’s not just guys, the girls are just as guilty because they often encourage such activity. It takes two to Tango.  I’m not saying we have to go back exactly to the way things were done then. It’s been over 50 years since then and the world has changed… faster communication, greater maturity, better education, longer lives. So I think people don’t have to be so morally confined as they were back then. But what is missing today and what’s needed is a value system to guide people in their relations with others. "