What Do Men Need From Women in Relationships?

[MsHeartBeat]

Just like Freud (who admittedly never could figure out what women wanted), women don't understand men and what they want in a relationship!  But I have the answer, and it's very simple.

The basic need men seek to have fulfilled by having a relationship with one particular woman is admiration. All men want to be admired, especially by their wife, girlfriend, life partner. Men NEED your respect, your admiration, and your approval ladies. Doesn't matter if he isn't that hot and attractive, financially secure, educated, or sophisticated... all men need their woman's admiration. Even if he doesn't deserve it (in your mind or in response to negative behavior), it doesn't change the fact that he NEEDS it.  Without the admiration of their woman, a guy feels lost, unloved and is vulnerable to going out on you to get that ego boosting admiration elsewhere. 

You may find yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do or say.  Black women especially have this bad and I often hear sistahs get together and berate Brothas vs. compliment them at a ratio of 570000000 to 1. 

Yes, I am exaggerating, but it always surprises me how women can stay with someone they claim to love, when they have little to no respect and admiration for him as a man.

You want to know why he has changed and doesn't want to spend time with you, cuddle with and talk to you, and why he seems to go out of his way to ignore you lately?  You want to know why your marriage is cold, and he is distant and withdrawn? 

Think about it... when is the last time you told him how much he turns you on, how exciting a man he is, his creativity, how you admire his intelligence, ambition, fathering skills, how he works harder than anyone you know?  When is the last time you made an extra effort to spruce up your outfit and hair before he comes home from work?  Without your admiration, your man feels that he doesn't make you happy, that you are dissatisfied with and disapprove of him.

White girls do this very well.  They wear our Brothas out repeatedly telling them how "awesome!" they are. 

It's not about "building his ego" just to blow smoke.  It's not about going out of your way to lie to him just to keep him around.  It's this:  if you are with a man that you honestly feel you cannot proudly say those things about to your friends and family, whom you cannot look in the eye with a smile and tell him you are happy he came into your life, and for whom you have absolute pride and belief in then YOU ARE WITH THE WRONG MAN!

[devineone]

The basic need men seek to have fulfilled by having a relationship with one particular woman is admiration. All men want to be admired, especially by their wife, girlfriend, life partner. Men NEED your respect, your admiration, and your approval ladies.  

Good advice. I'll have to keep this in mind in my own current relationship.  I haven't had cause to criticize and I do praise, but I'll make an effort to do it more.

[Informed Investor]

Respect and admiration. I guess it goes back to the status of the Black American Consciousness. We are a people who don't respect ourselves so it’s inevitable that we won't respect our opposite sex black/african american counterparts.

Treat me as you want to be treated. Whatever i ask for I’m willing to reciprocate. Honesty is a rare virtue in the dating game these days. I think if everyone was honest things would be a lot easier. If you just want sex cool, platonic friendship fine but if you want to try and act as if we are something but in reality we aren't than that is when most men and women have problems with the opposite sex.

I try to be as honest as possible in my dealings. I had a woman recently talk about how her other male buddy offered to take her to Costa Rica for the weekend. I told her "I'm only taking a woman to an island with me if  we are having sex". She was shocked but she said she could respect that.  But she has tons of brothers falling at her feet I'm not the one.

Another easy way to say is actions speak louder than words. A woman’s actions speak so loudly that I cannot her the words coming out of her mouth. Women should ask themselves how are my actions fulfilling the needs of my man? How many women can honestly say they have discussed the needs of their man with him?