Though this forum will be closing down within the next few months, I've already launched a site for Black women called BLACK WOMEN VENT!  Ladies, you are invited to sign up and participate in the discussions:

http://blackwomenvent.com/chitchat/ubbthreads.php?ubb=cfrm

With the advent of Facebook and other social media, as well as the ability to comment and discuss topics on the same page as the articles being referenced, the website forums of the late 1990s and early 2000s are dying a slow death. 

As I work hard on redesigning, upgrading and modernizing Ask HeartBeat for the 6th time, I seriously considered taking the forums down altogether.  However, for old time's sake I think I'll keep this up, at least through the rest of the year. 

Look for an announcement about the launch of the new AskHeartBeat.Com in a week or so. I'm porting over content from the existing site so that when the launch is done, there will at least be 100 or so advice columns and 100 or so articles for people to read.

If any of you have an article or poetry that you'd like to submit, feel free to send them to me via PM or by using the Contact form on the home page at http://www.askheartbeat.com.

Hi Shep, Ndgo, devine etc etc etc

Remember me? the little firestarter. I miss you guys. I really do. I pop in time to time, and Shep is right, its not the same. I remember living up and thru who, making friends and not-so-frriends. lol

Anybody heard from Tru. I miss you girl.

Im not on Facebook. as of yet. still debating. I dont have the time to devote to it right now, 3 of my 4 babies are teenagers now. Im having the time of my life but its different. I keeps my finger on this trigger so its hard to get on the PC as much.


Love yall!!!!!!!!!!

all research reported here is currently in study to make sure the claims are reliable; that it is hypoallergenic blocking our cells from infection and mis-signals

Ginger.....luv ya feel me baby..... and definitely can't stand advice I didn't ask for...

Who be these/who was these dirt poor niggas at us like they ballin hidin behind some fresh label or whoever jammin on tha mic with a fresh cd; sleeping with us to rob our ass out of whatever diamonds, dinners...etc we got

Yo!...stop tha madness.....I slept around to get engaged and married....lol

Wow this is interesting!

Dumbazz was demoted by the way LOL! Kicked out of his office and back in a cube.

Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries

Women often profess to being terrified of being alone. This fear motivates many women to enter into relationships that are painful, cold or abusive even after a little voice in their head says "this guy is bad news!"

Why do women and even some men have such a hard time establishing and maintaining boundaries with regards to who they allow into their lives and beds, as well as treatment that they will or will not accept?

It doesn't help that media is pushing stories that promote the "reality" that the majority of educated professional Black women will most likely remain single and alone for their entire life.  Could this fear make women relax standards and accept negative behaviors and overcome the female need to please.

What's your story?

The Male Need to Control Women

Men are socialized to be in command, to rule and win, but what is it about men that makes them feel the need to control women? Controlling behaviors come in many forms - from outright domination, violence, and oppression to more subtle forms like the way he speaks to women or his attempts to manipulate through name-calling or judgments that prey on women's insecurities.

What might such male socialization do to the psyches, hearts and dreams of women?

Most women are unaware of the socialization they've been raised under and never question their beliefs about what women should do, be, or say as it regards interactions with males.  How sad. 

As you've grown and matured, what types of things do you now see as controlling male behavior that you didn't before, and what do you do about it?