Obesity in African Americans and Dating

[devineone]

Well you told me in an earlier post on this topic thread when I said I wouldn't debate you about the dating issue that I was "copping out", might I say this seems to be the same thing you're doing here when I asked you to just come out and tell me what exactly do you want me to say to address "The issue"? 

 I haven't been on this post long enough to be put into the collective "Yall women dog men out category".  I also think what I've written in this topic thread does not qualify for dogging men out.  I haven't said anything in this post on this topic, that I wouldn't tell my own brothers.   I mean where the heck is that coming from and how is that relevant to me and what I posted on the obesity question that Ms. HB raised?  You took my posts written here and blamed me for years of other posters.  That's unfair.

 I did initially address the question Ms. HB asked on, page one.  If it wasn't what you wanted to read, then that's unfortunate but I addressed it with my own thoughts.

I've asked you repeatedly to just come out and write the dialogue that you wish to post, because I can't get inside your head and address "the issue" to your satisfaction".

You haven't done that, but you continue to accuse me of being in the collective "yall women abusing men", based on what I've written in this obesity post and for not addressing the issue to your satisfaction. 

I have no problem accepting responsibility for unintentionally hurting someone but I don't think I've done that here.  I also have no problem admitting when I'm wrong.  I'm asking you legitimate questions in order to arrive at an understanding and go forward because no doubt there will be another topic that will come up and I don't want to step on your toes, however you don't seem to be willing to help. 

I thought I did address the obesity issue as it relates to Ms. HB's question.  I'm not sure if I addressed "your issue", but you won't tell me what you want me to say and how I should say it so since you don't want to answer that question, then I agree let's just let it rest.
Have a good weekend Legacy.

[Legacy]

read the edits to my last post..

I already said you addressed the issue on the 4th page. I said your first post however was kind of a soft lob.. As if to say,.. "aww it's really not an issue.. I see brothas with thick sistas all the time & sista's carry weight better than most women...".. I explained that in the last post.

The "paying for dates" issue is a sidebar issue & not an new issue here. No point in rehashing it. And, I'm not accusing you specifically of anything per say. Collectively people have added to this post. It's 7 pages long. And most that have long posts in this thread haven't addressed the real issue regarding weight issues which is:

"Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?"

I'm saying sista's in general (this post being no great exception) have a hard time addressing issues about BW yet show no such issue talking about issues on the other side of the fence. 

And, you're not stepping on my toes, hurting my feelings or any of that. - LOL  You can't see facial expressions, gauge my volume, intent of my statement or sometimes my  temperament over a message board. I'm not mad @  y'all. I am just giving some real talk.

[devineone]

http://i29.tinypic.com/w70ep3.gif

DO..

Oh, & so you know, I looked at your first post as kind of a plea cop. If I was a BW and read your post, I wouldn't gather that being overweight was really an issue with finding a man at all & that's not totally true. It's even venture to say that in most cases, it's a factor. I mean, you basically talked about how you see some brothas with chunky sistas ( I mean, let's be honest... a large percentage are chunky so we'd expect that...) & how some BW carry weight better than other women. You also mentioned you we're biased. Yes, indeed you are. Talk to BM about the weight thing with sistas. A lot of them are *not* feeling it. It's truth. However, they don't wanna come out & just dog folx out. I'm telling y'all this not because I wanna beat you down with it but because I'm trying to be real. It's an issue.


Bottom line...

Responding again, Legacy, I hear what you're saying about obesity but again in reading what you've written.  You're getting all hot and bothered and judgemental and upset about what I wrote because it wasn't what "YOU wanted me to write".  Again, with the judgements and accusations.  You're placing your judgements on my opinion.  Where as I was simply addressing MS HB's question.  I wasn't writing to please you Legacy or writing with the thought in mind, 'Well now, let me see what I should write just in case Legacy is reading and he won't like what I wrote".

I wrote my initial post after reading Ms HB's question.  I was writing it from my observations and my perspectives, I do see men with heavy women every single day I get on the train.  But you're angry and said that I wrote a "plea cop out".  That's how "you see it".  I wrote from my observations and experiences, and you're writing from yours. 

My point is Legacy is that whenever there is a dialogue about women and men, we are going to come from our own experiences.  I wasn't copping a plea, I was writinig from my observations and experiences.  All of the women my brothers have dated have been bigger than them, how is writing factual information based on my own observations and experiences a "plea and cop out?

I guess what is rubbing me the wrong way with the tone and where you're coming from is that you have no respect for anyone else's opinion but your own and you take the stance that if someone share's something based on their own individual experience, and it is not something you agree with, you immediately take umbrage with them and accuse them of "not being real".

Just because I wrote my opinion and didn't include obesity health facts doesn't automatically mean that I am for obesity and I'm not being real.  That wasn't the question Ms. HB asked in the first place.

I am well aware of the health risks of obesity but that wasn't the question.  You brought it up in your opinion and that is fine for you to share that.  I didn't bring it up in mine because I chose to answer Ms. HB question.

Man you go hard on people, ease up, I hear you and agree with you that obesity is a health issue.  Just because you as a man have a problem with dating women who are overweight doesn't make your voice the only voice for what all men want.  I have plenty of men friends who have big women partners gf and wives and I have male friends who have girlfriends who are thin.

You said I'm biased, and you are as well, because you take offense that I didn't write what you wanted me to write.  None of my brothers like stick thin skinny model type of women.  Thandee Newtons, you're Halle Berry's .  I once had a musician friend who actually met her in person and said that she is far too skinny, she's all eyes, and  his wife is healthy and he loves her to death.
So while some men like skinny women, the men I've interacted with, the guys I see when I commute on the trains, and in my neigborhood and at my church, like their healthy sisters.
Does that mean that sisters shouldn't be concerned about their weight?  Of course it doesn't.  Being overweight is the number one cause of all health problems in this country from diabetes to high blood pressure, heart disease you name it..... However, that was not Ms Heart Beat's original question.

Ms HB's original question>
 keep reading studies that report that 30% of the US population is technically overweight or obese... and one I read said that 15% of Black women are obese (by those BMI charts).

Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?  How much value are overweight men and women given when it comes to ranking them as romantic partners?

[Legacy]

DO...

1> What you initially wrote was a soft lob, period. Plenty of men have problems with the weight. Go check some other spots. However, the majority of men date inside their race & if the vast majority are overweight, you're gonna see BM w/ overweight BW. That's not rocket science.

2> I didn't mention anything about health implications. I don't care that you didn't mention it. It's important for sure but the issue is how does it affect BM rejecting BW as it related to dating & probably more importantly marriage.

3> I never said all BM want smaller women. I said that BW being overweight & obese is a problem in dating and it is. I'm tellin you what brothas say when they're talking amongst themselves giving criteria (in this case the physical criteria) for they type of woman they want to settle down with.

Respond away. I'm not going to continue this dialogue, period. This post will drop like a rock because the vast majority of women who did post here won't touch the real issue with a 1,000 foot pole.

[Legacy]

NOTE TO LEGACY... if you want to respond to the fat comments I just made above, put it over in the FAT thread. 

SHO YOU RIGHT!!!!!!

Look, if you don't like FAT women, then go get yourself a slim one, ain't nobody stopping you.

Didn't I say this:

Negatory.. That's you echoing a false stereotype. I've dated attractive women (only sisters) from light bright to pitch dark, from perm to locks, to braids, to natural, & from small 1-4 size thru 10-12 size. Men like 'attractive' women. Some women in Hollywood are attractive. Some women on the job are attractive. Some women on the block are attractive.

This isn't just about my preferences. The question is:

"Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?"

If we all would kick a bad relationship to the curb with a quickness, we'd be alright.  Many times women eat them selves into fatdom because they've got relationship issues.... he cheats, she eats.  He beats, she eats... he won't kiss her feet in the bedroom, so she eats... it's not an excuse, it's the way it is. 

SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS THE CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS!! - 

Black Men are responsible for Black women being overweight & obese too? GOD DAYUM!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOPE!! TOO LATE!!! YOU SAID IT THUS PROVING MY POINT ONCE AGAIN!!!

BLACK WOMEN HAVE ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY!!! IT'S ALL THE MAN'S FAULT!!


It's not BW fault they're overweight & obese. SOme black man made the woof down all that dressing, turkey, & mac & cheese during thanksgiving. He actually held her down & force feed her! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES! Plus, he's so cruel he won't get he go outside for her routine 1-2 mile walk/job run!!! He refuses to allow her to have a treadmill or exercise bike in the house!!! He won't let her have a membership @ Bally's or the local YMCA. IT'S AN EPIDEMIC HAPPENING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!!! DAMN THOSE EVIL BLACK MEN!!!


ARE Y'ALL READING THIS SHYT!!! OH MY GOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TYPED IT!!!

X-MAS IN APRIL!!!! BAWAHAHA!! OH SHYT, THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!

I'M GOING TO CHURCH TODAY!!! WHAT'S THAT T.D. JAKES?

http://i4.tinypic.com/6tv9hud.gif

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I *STAY* WINNIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bambi eyes]

Respond away. I'm not going to continue this dialogue, period.

LIAR...

SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS THE CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS!! - 

Black Men are responsible for Black women being overweight & obese too? GOD DAYUM!!

 


 

 

Hmmmm... very telling.  Why is it that when I made the comment about BW who attend church tending to be a little on the obese side a great deal of the time Legacy had zippo to say to that,  but when I offer another very possible reason why some BW out there end up getting fat and I mention men, not even BM, but MEN, Legacy jumps all over it like it’s a million dollar stack of dough?    Hint, it’s because my first comment had nothing to do with BM, but this one did.  Are we beginning to see a pattern here? 

Exhibit 1 -  Legacy fails to be objective when entering discussions in threads where anything negative is said about a BM.  You are fine and good as long as you don’t point the finger at a BM.  You are Mary Mother of grace as long as you don’t let anything show up on the screen that has the word BLACK and MEN in the same vicinity of each other and is negative or even has the slightest chance that it could be negative. 

This is exactly what I have a problem with Legacy doing and what I am fed up with.   People cannot say what’s on their mind for fear that Legacy will jump out of the box and deliver a one two knockout punch thus destroying any validity to the comment.    Legacy, you have to do better at handling yourself in these type of threads or you are going to be labeled as someone who can’t take the critique of a BM by a BW at any cost regardless of if it’s true or untrue.  And who would even want to discuss something with a person such as this?

I’ve done it on occasion, gone and reached for a bag of  Tostitos to keep myself from cursing someone the hell out, and luckily came to my senses before it got too far and put the chips back and just picked up the phone and got it off my chest and told him off. 
 It happens, and it happens more often than you think, as a matter of fact, I’m sure other women on the board can relate. The only difference between us and the obese woman is, self control and the ability to say to yourself, Phuck him, I’m bigger than this.  Phuck him, he’s not worth all this  and the willingness to put that ice cream back in the fridge, and focus your thoughts on something else.  Some women don’t do that… they eat. 

When a man hurts your soul, kicks you around, stomps on you until feel like a piece of nothingness, there are some women out there who go right to the refrigerator looking for something that will east that pain.  Oprah even admitted it herself. Food can be like comfort to some women (and men too).  So if this is true, why would it be any different when what’s causing you the pain is a man… not a BM, but just a man period?  See you lose objectivity when it comes to stuff like this, and it makes you overlook things that might make you understand things better. 

Men and women who have lost a job, lost a loved one, lost their self esteem, lost hope in life  or whatever, for whatever reason, do sometimes reach for food as comfort.  I said men and women who have lost a loved one… did you see that?  A lover can be considered a loved one, and there is more ways to lose a loved one than death.  The breakup of a relationship, the mistreatment of someone within a relationship, or having to endure a relationship you are unhappy in, can cause you to reach for something comforting.  And many times that can be food.

I never said it was an excuse.  In fact I said it’s not an excuse, but it is a part of life and it does happen. Why don’t you go take a minute to fix whatever is bothering you inside about BW and their feelings about you or BM in general and then come back and try to be more objective.  It would do me and everyone here a big favor.

And by the way… if you ask Oprah if those men who raped her were BM, she’d probably tell you yes, since they were from her family.  Legacy's most likely response, Heaven's no, NOT A BM, uhuhhhh no way... it had to be something else that made her gain all that weight...being raped by a man wouldn't have anything at all to do with it,... besides, all she had to do is go to the gym. 

Does it mean all BM are the reason for ALL black women’s issues with weight, no, and I never said that or implied it. I just offered another reason why this might be happening,  not an excuse, but a REASON.... hello, Cooo cooo, anybody home... did you hear that?  A REASON... REASON, REASON... not an EXCUSE, not a get out of jail free pass card... an REASON. (Nobody's home, he didn't hear a damned thing I just said ) 

Anyway,  Deal with it. Stop trying to turn everything into a Church fest, it’s so unbecoming of you.  Really.   This is not a contest, or a you win, I win... this is a discussion... and you've just proven you can't be objective when it comes to BM... so stop pointing fingers at the females...

Now I’m about to hit you up with another reason why BW may be overweight….  ::)Ya know what, never the phuck mind .  I really am not enjoying this discussion with you.  You want to focus on what I just said, despite it’s validity. You WANT TO AND WILL, so go ahead… as I like to say knock yourself out… do whatever makes you feel real.  I’m done.

On second thought, when you get back from CHURCH ,  why don’t we try this little exercise… you collect the logins for each female poster on the board and then post what it is you want them to say.  This way you can avoid having to screen post and swoon in with your tinyurl’s and anti-BW who speak freely exterminating gear and the discussion will go EXACTLY the way you want it to go.   Gee, It must be tiresome being a Legacy… 

[Vance87]

You know devineone to be truly honest, I can't seem to understand how it is that legacy's answers to you and bambi are any less "his" than your responses. You accuse legacy of not accepting your responses because they aren't worded the way he's like them. But I recall the back and forth way back in page 3 being eerily similar in regards to you and Bambi not accepting the way legacy (and starchild) chose to answer you two. It sure seems like you two were "looking" for a particular answer that would validate an already preconceived opinion in regards to possible shallowness on behalf of legacy or those of like opinions.

But that isn't what concerns me. what concerns me is the perception that you should be able to answer the thread question or him the way you see fit. but can't be called on "how" you answer. Questioning the brother in light of your earlier scrutiny just seems a little less than genuine.

Am I reading this wrong?

To be honest, I've read this thread looking for some answers to the main question posed, that being: "Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?" (OBESITY). My observation tells me this is a question that has yet to be answered by almost all the sisters that have responded.

 

[Bambi eyes]

It sure seems like you two were "looking" for a particular answer that would validate an already preconceived opinion in regards to possible shallowness on behalf of legacy or those of like opinions.

Yes, you are reading wrong Vance.  The difference is that I would have been satisfied with him just picking flat out either #1 or #2... I could care less if he answered the way I wanted him to answer... just pick one and stop it with the willy wag.  When he finally said it's a toss up, you see I left him alone on that issue... that was his answer and I told him that it was "the best answer he could provide", so chill.  Prior to that it was a bunch of well if this was this way and that was that way I wouldn't want either   I didn't ask if you wouldn't want either, I asked which one would you choose if you HAD to choose one.  To me that was not a flat out answer.  The toss up answer was as close as he got to answering my question and I was fine with that.

Another way that this is different from what Legacy does is once you answer his question and it's not the way he thinks you should be thinking, he then follows you from post to post crying about how you are not being objective or Women on this site "are not talking about it" or not finding what he WANTS you to find wrong with whatever scenario he's presented.  That is very different. 

See, I drop the issue and move on... Legacy as you know carries these issues from post to post making it impossible for anyone to express their views in one topic without being held hostage to previous postings.  If I say in one post I hate cows, and then I go in another post and say I drink milk... here comes Legacy asking well how is it that you hate cows but still drink their milk... and when you tell him that regardless of hating cows you still like milk... he then bully's you and calls you all kinds of names and implies you are in some way suspect because you said you liked milk but hate cows.... this is bullshyt... it's very annoying and I clearly don't do that to him.

When I ask what do you think A or B, I accept the answer (if oneis given) and then move on.  When he ask what do you think, A or B and he wants you to say B, HELL come down on you for not saying that.   

In this thread, I stated my point of view.  It's not up to Legacy to then come in and start beating me upside the head because my point of view is different from what he wants to hear.   THAT's where you are reading this wrong.  Let people be who they wanna be.  Stop trying to force people to see things your way and only your way, forums are here so that everyone can say what they want to say without being uneccessarily attacked for it... it is not an attack to say you disagree, but it is an attack to constantly be following someone from pillar to post trying to beat them into submission.  It's like back the hell off already.

[Legacy]

Back after a weekend of watching the NBA playoffs... Man, this year gonna be GOOD! 


@BE

You blamed BM for BW being overweight & obese WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT BW & THEIR ROLE IN THEIR OWN SITUATION. The overwhelming majority of BW are overweight & obese, first & foremost, because of their eating habits & lack of workout regime, period. Has nothing to do w/ their SO. Shyt, some of them are single or had weight issues before they had a man.

And please, enough with the pleas. All people go thru losing a job, a loved one, getting kicked in the face by an ex-lover, self-esteem/confidence issue, etc. However, all people aren't 78% overweight & 50% obese, black women are.

My issue with your comment is that you, which is typical of a lot of women, pointed the finger @ men first. Y'all do it so much that you don't even realize it. Re-read your statement. Where is the accountability for BW creating their own condition which is preventing them for attracting some BM?

Finally, stop trying to make this post about me or about BM. It's about BW. Why can you guys stay on topic when the issue is about BM but not BW? I don't have an issue with critiquing BM, I have an issue with ONLY critiquing BM. Again, you can't talk about YBM w/ saggin pants (which is an issue of inappropriate dress) & not talk about YBW with hip huggers/low riding pants with thongs & asses handing out (which is ALSO an issue of inappropriate dress). My ONLY point is talk about ALL OF IT. And, I only bring up the saggin pants issue to illustrate how gender is determining why we talk about one issue versus another, not to *bring up old shyt* so to speak.

So since we've covered EVERY CONCEIVABLE TOPIC about BM, let's see if we can stay on task & talk about BW in this topic. I bet you $1,000 most of your next post will be about:

1>critiquing me
2>critiquing BM
3>protecting & plea copping for BW

The question we need to be dealing with is this:

"Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?"

But that isn't what concerns me. what concerns me is the perception that you should be able to answer the thread question or him the way you see fit. but can't be called on "how" you answer. Questioning the brother in light of your earlier scrutiny just seems a little less than genuine.

Hmmm... why do you think that is Vance? 

BAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be honest, I've read this thread looking for some answers to the main question posed, that being: "Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?" (OBESITY). My observation tells me this is a question that has yet to be answered by almost all the sisters that have responded.
 

AND THERE WE HAVE IT...


MOFO's still writing dissertations but not answering one simple question. 

Check this Vance, I talked to one of my boys about this situation. I asked him of the girls he sees @ the gym, assuming everything else is acceptable, how many would he date right now based on looks & weight.

He said maybe 5-10 outta 25.

I asked, how many would he date if they had just an average build ( not overweight or obese)..

He said about 20-25..

 

See, I know what the deal is but if people wanna dance around the issue so be it. He did however did give props to the women who recognize the issue & are taking the initiative to do something about it instead of trying to blame men for every god dayum thing.. 

[Bambi eyes]

You blamed BM for BW being overweight & obese WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT BW & THEIR ROLE IN THEIR OWN SITUATION.

Awwww   And my point is SO WHAT … I can make comments on a thread without doing what you think is the fair thing to do Legacy.  People go to the bathroom and don’t wash their hands… do you say well don’t go to the bathroom if you can’t wash your hands, or do you just let them do what they want to do and leave them alone.  You keep missing the point.  People can respond to whatever, however they damn well please, and it is not up to you to play policeman following them around from thread to thread pointing out how they aren’t living up to your expectations. 

Johnny: Teacher, Teacher!! Sally is pissing on the floor, and Jimmy is eating his boogas, and Jeffrey is sticking his hands in the fish bowl, and Omar is stealing the cookies, and Jessie is sleeping at his desk and Michael isn’t doing the homework the way you told him to do it….
 
Teacher: And Johnny, what are YOU doing?  Go sit down, mind your own business, and stop playing kid cop.

However, all people aren't 78% overweight & 60% obese, black women are.

And all people don’t eat the fatty azz diet of fried chicken, potato salad, corn bread, red rice, macaroni and cheese, pound cake, and bread pudding the way black folk do.  A bad diet is generally at the root of all weight issues.  Go to any church function at a traditionally black church and you will find all of these fatty fixings, and a whole slew of choices at the cake and pie table.  It’s been awhile, but I don’t think it’s changed much since I was a little kid attending church with my aunt.  Thus my comment about church going women… I think you will also find this problem amongst the Latino community as well, since their diet is not much better than ours.  Point is it could be any number of reasons why this is the case… I didn’t touch on nearly all of them, just the one that came to mind first.  Here's some more REASONS, (not excuses  ) BW don’t want to swim/exercise cause our hair will get wet and messy, they're so busy working night and day to support kids by ourselves because the father’s of our children don’t want to pay child support that they don’t have time to pay attention to ourselves the way they should be, they've been raised in families where exercise and eating properly weren’t stressed and have adapted those habits for ourselves, and then there’s issues where it’s health related as Ms.Sheel mentioned before…. I could spend all day giving you reasons why BW get fat and stay fat, but is it only up to me to provide all of this information?  Why is my comment being picked out as the one lacking when you are perfectly capable of figuring this stuff out yourself and commenting on it.  Stop trying to control people and make them do what you yourself haven’t done.

Where is the accountability for BW creating their own condition which is preventing them for attracting some BM?

Ask a BW who is overweight and not able to attract a BM and you will find out.  I’m not one of them, so to be honest, I can’t account for shyt.  That’s like me asking you to account for why your brother killed the Pope… why would I ask you a question like that? Your not the one who pulled the trigger… in fact you don’t even have any issues with the Pope, so wouldn’t it better for me to ask your brother that question and expect him to account for his own actions?  Legacy, I am good friends with only two black women who wear a size 2X and a size 16, and one is married and the other has no problem attracting BM, but once they see the bible thumping they disappear… so to be honest, I can’t answer your question or account for what you want me to account for.  Just being honest with you.

Again, you can't talk about YBM w/ saggin pants (which is an issue of inappropriate dress) & not talk about YBW with hip huggers/low riding pants with thongs & asses handing out (which is ALSO an issue of inappropriate dress)

And nobody has done that.  Is it that you want the focus to be shared in a topic?
If I’m talking about Obama must I also talk about Hilary too?  If I’m talking about my mama, must I also talk about my papa too?  If I’m talking about President Bush, must I also talk about all the other President in the universe too?  Where do you get off trying to control topics of discussion.  If you want to talk about it, you are free to do so, ain’t nobody stopping you.  Why must everyone else follow along the Legacy path.  Have you done something so great that you deserve to be followed?  Do your thing and let other’s do theirs.

Check this Vance, I talked to one of my boys about this situation.

Good for you… now your are on the right track, now your cooking with gas … talk to BM who aren’t attracted to fat BW and talk to BW who are fat and not attracting BM… then you might make some progress.  You are asking BW who aren't fat to account for why BW are fat... brillant.

See, I know what the deal is but if people wanna dance around the issue so be it.

No one is dancing around the issue… if I was FAT and LONELY, I could take accountability.  Makes sense?  Of course not, you don’t want it to make sense… but it does.  Hahahahaha.

Finally, stop trying to make this post about me or about BM. It's about BW.

Well you do the same, practice what you preach and stop trying to make the thread  I started about LEGACY’s BM issues a thread about Obesity in BW.  Fair enough?  Go look back over there and see what you did… even changed the title in your post, ya slicksta … so stop that and then you can tell others what to stop doing. 

[Bambi eyes]

"Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?"

Okay... now here is the answer to this question, cause you're right, I made comments, but I didn't answer it flat out.. so here comes my answer...

Yes, Obesity could be a factor in BW's rejection by black men.  BM on this site have alluded to the validity of that statement, and since they are the one's out here experiencing a limp dyck when they see a BW, I guess it could very well be a leading factor. In fact, for the men who answered, it is most definitely a factor.  This is my assumption based on common sense and evidenced by comments made here by two BM.   Question answered.    

[Legacy]

"Is this a factor in Black women's rejection by Black men or not?"

Okay... now here is the answer to this question, cause you're right, I made comments, but I didn't answer it flat out.. so here comes my answer...

Yes, Obesity could be a factor in BW's rejection by black men.  BM on this site have alluded to the validity of that statement, and since they are the one's out here experiencing a limp dyck when they see a BW, I guess it could very well be a leading factor. In fact, for the men who answered, it is most definitely a factor.  This is my assumption based on common sense and evidenced by comments made here by two BM.   Question answered.    

FINALLY! TOOK YOU 10 NOVELS TO WRITE ONE SIMPLE PARAGRAPH.....

I knew you wouldn't be able to answer w/o all that sidebar shyt. You wrote another novel when all you had to say is that. Plus, you had to try & throw a jab @ men in the process. Sad... really sad.. It hurts you too bad just to simply say a lot black women have weight issues & it turns some men off.


And, let's stop being candid. IT IS an issue a lot more than most women care to admit.

Good dayum you mad!!!  Answering shyt I said to Vance.. HAHAHAHA! -

[Bambi eyes]

It hurts you too bad just to simply say a lot black women have weight issues & it turns some men off.

Legacy.... that's stupid... you mean to tell me that it would make you feel good if each of us came into a thread and said exactly the same thing.  How dumb is that?   You don't need 20 women to come in and repeat what's obvious #1 and what's already been said #2... and besides, wouldn't it be smarter to expect an answer from someone who knows first hand... I mean, you are a man, you know what attracts you and what doesn't,  why are you asking me if BM find fat BW attractive?  And why are you asking me when I said upfront I don't have weight issues to be accountable for BW who are fat.  That makes absolutely no sense at all.   But I guess you are allowed just like anyone else to be an ignoramus from time to time. 

[Bambi eyes]

Good dayum you mad!!!   Answering shyt,  I said to Vance.. HAHAHAHA! -

I wasn't answering... I was commenting... there is a difference ya know.
There you go again... trying to tell people who they can and cannot comment to and answer to as they please.  Man you are a control freak to the 100th power.   

[Legacy]

It hurts you too bad just to simply say a lot black women have weight issues & it turns some men off.

Legacy.... that's stupid... you mean to tell me that it would make you feel good if each of us came into a thread and said exactly the same thing.  How dumb is that.  You don't need 20 women to come in and repeat what's obvious #1 and what's already been said #2... and besides, wouldn't it be smarter to expect an answer from someone who knows first hand... you are a man, you know what attracts you and what doesn't,  why are you asking me if BM find BW attractive?  And why are you asking me when I said upfront I don't have weight issues to be accountable for BW who are fat.  That makes absolutely no sense at all.   But I guess you are allowed just like anyone else to be an ignoramus from time to time. 

It's obvious that YBM need to pull up their pants in anyplace that's not a club. It's obvious men need to take responsibility for their children they've fathered. So on & so forth....

Has that ever stopped you or other BW from talkin bout it? NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!

I don't want you to parrot anything but I do want you to HONESTLY DEAL WITH THE QUESTION & NOT ELUDE IT WHEN THE FOUCS IS ON CRITIQUING BW. In fact, in 7 pages, 2 sisters have painstakenly admitted this fact & if *I* didn't push for us to address the real issue, no one would be dealing with it. My point is y'all were dealing with everything *BUT* the issue.

And the major point is when it comes to relationships, women have absolutely no problem talking about it's men's fault they aren't getting what they want. However, it's very difficult for a lot of women to look in the mirror & critique themselves. Maybe, just maybe, you *could* get what you were looking for if you made some self-improvements & stopped blaming everyone else.

That's what this is about. Not you or your weight, not me or my preferences. Not even saggin pants.. - LOL