The Ring

[Starchild]

I think it's tacky and classless to keep the ring.  The same way women are saying that they wouldn't want a ring intended for another woman, why would you want a ring intended for your marriage that didn't occur?  Yes, it was given to you, but it meant something in the context of your relationship, it wasn't just a consumer item.  You can keep the car, clothes and other jewelry he gave you, but you should return the engagement ring if the engagement gets  broken off.  It's just the right thing to do.

[Legacy]

And I already answered that here... which is why I asked you can you read.

but to humor you I'll say if he absolutely could not sell it, that would not keep me from marrying him, but each and every time I looked at the ring it would be followed with thoughts of the other woman.  Not a very romantic way to start off a relationship is it?  That's all I'm saying.  For me it would sort of sour the experience.  To me that's like offering me someone elses underwear to wear... and that's my opinion... dirty or clean, it sours the experience.  I'd hope he'd be as sensitive to my feelings as he'd want me to be to his wallet... unless when it comes to money  feelings don't matter.

Ok, cool..  That's stand up..

And don't flatter yourself..  I ain't reading half the shyt you or most people write with my undivided attention..- FOH!  Y'all be posting a lot of nonsense & I str8 up ain't reading all of it. Bold works tho.. I peep it in bold..


LOL

[Cruzcontrol]

LOL! wow this Legacy mofo is an angry douchebag for no apparent reason. Everyone is just bouncing around opinions and different perspectives, what's with all the FOH's and what not??? You're like a keyboard tough guy, do you need to take a dump or something?geesh.

And for someone who ain't reading "half the shyt ya'll post on here" you sure are quick to respond, lol. You must be very very ugly, its ok boo boo.....

[Bambi eyes]

Ok, cool..  That's stand up..

And don't flatter yourself..  I ain't reading half the shyt you or most people write with my undivided attention..- FOH!  Y'all be posting a lot of nonsense & I str8 up ain't reading all of it. Bold works tho.. I peep it in bold..

Well then maybe you shouldn't be commenting on it then... that's like talking to someone but not listening... what purpose does that serve in a two way conversation?  None.

Anyway... I'll respond to the rest of what you said whether you are reading it or not.

What I'm not understanding is how new wife to be #2 should in some way feel sorry for you or be happy with getting wife #1’s seconds all because you and wife to be #1 didn't work out.  Why is she even a part of what happened in your past relationship with the ring and all?

Why is this even being considered her issue?  She’s coming on the scene brand new and you going to try and pass off used, cried over, pie dough crusted, ball massaged, bad karma ridden goods to her? Someone that you love, honor and cherish and think the world of?  Is that supposed to make her feel special?  Is that supposed to bring a smile to her face when she looks at that ring that was not picked out especially for her, but really intended for someone else?  Especially when you are basically telling her its not worth it to you that she feel good inside and that you both start off fresh because it's your wallet that you are worried about and that her feelings don't really matter when there’s money involved?  And furthermore, that because she came to the scene after #1, She should just be happy you are marrying her and even thinking of giving her a used ring?  I don’t get that way of thinking. 

That’s like you going into a restaurant and the waiter bringing out some just made, barely touched but still partially eaten plate of burger and fries that some other customer rejected and didn’t eat and telling you well it cost too much and takes too much time to make another fresh plate of burger and fries so eat this one...   and actually you should just be happy to eat it cause it’s saving us a lot of time and money and not everyone gets to even get a plate of burger and fries.  Wouldn’t you be sitting there wondering what any of that has got to do with you, a brand new customer coming to the scene?  Why must you accept the other customers seconds just because it didn’t work out for the first customer? 

To be honest, if I'm marrying you, it's not about the ring, it's about you and your character but even if I did walk proudly down the aisle with you, don't think for a minute that for the rest of our lives together I will not in some way deep down inside feel as if I am second best because in your opinion I'm not worth doing whatever you can to make me happy... even if it means you will take a financial loss. If money means more to you than my feelings then I’ve got to wonder.  The ring would then symbolize the importance of saving a buck at the cost of someone's feelings... and personally for me it would symbolize how little you think of me that you would even dare try to give me something you know was intended for someone else’s finger and NOT MINE and then expect me to be pleased about it all in the name of saving your wallet.

[Legacy]

LOL! wow this Legacy mofo is an angry douchebag for no apparent reason. Everyone is just bouncing around opinions and different perspectives, what's with all the FOH's and what not??? You're like a keyboard tough guy, do you need to take a dump or something?geesh.

And for someone who ain't reading "half the shyt ya'll post on here" you sure are quick to respond, lol. You must be very very ugly, its ok boo boo.....

Ineffective..

Noobs always try to hurl wack insults when they get called out. I see it at least once every 2 weeks.. honest.. Nope.. I peep it..

Hey, It's cool.. you're selfish on that one issue. Doesn't make you all bad..  I'll give you this tho.. at least you got a sense of humor. You don't respond with total unmitigated fury. - LOL

Since you're new tho.. I talk to y'all like I talk to my boys about sports. Don't take the shyt personal.. This here is barbershop real talk!

Oh yeah, PS or suhtin- Stop witcha bullshyt.. you ain't reading all that shyt either.. LMAO!!

[Legacy]

B

Exhibit A.. I'm not reading all that shyt.. C'mon yo... 

I'm saying that her feelings have to be considered but so does his WALLET. Spending another 4K-6K on a ring is IMPRACTICAL for the majority of men you'll date.

It's not about the ring.. It's about the marriage..

[Cruzcontrol]

B

Exhibit A.. I'm not reading all that shyt.. C'mon yo... 

I'm saying that her feelings have to be considered but so does his WALLET. Spending another 4K-6K on a ring is IMPRACTICAL for the majority of men you'll date.

It's not about the ring.. It's about the marriage..

So the first woman gets the whirlwind romance and I have to be practical?? FOH!!! like fa real,  that's the biggest crcok of dog poo I've ever heard!

[Bambi eyes]

I'm saying that her feelings have to be considered but so does his WALLET. Spending another 4K-6K on a ring is IMPRACTICAL for the majority of men you'll date.

And what's wrong with getting rid of that ring and buying a less expensive one...you were good until you got to the can't sell it part... cause if I brought it, I can sell it, so there's no need to even go there.... if it's 4, sell it for 3 add 1 and buy a new one... all's good, everybody's happy.  Or if you're smart, don't even bring the issue up... the history of the ring will be between you and your shadow.

[Bambi eyes]

So the first woman gets the whirlwind romance and I have to be practical?? FOH!!! like fa real,  that's the biggest crcok of dog poo I've ever heard!

^5 ...I mean really

[Legacy]

B

Exhibit A.. I'm not reading all that shyt.. C'mon yo... 

I'm saying that her feelings have to be considered but so does his WALLET. Spending another 4K-6K on a ring is IMPRACTICAL for the majority of men you'll date.

It's not about the ring.. It's about the marriage..

So the first woman gets the whirlwind romance and I have to be practical?? FOH!!! like fa real,  that's the biggest crcok of dog poo I've ever heard!

HAHAHAHA!!! That noob got panache... Imma still put my boot in ya backside tho.. NOPE!

What whirldwind romance? Dude bought a ring, period. The ring is not more important than the marriage and if you say otherwise do yourself a favor & don't get married.

AND YES YOU HAVE TO BE PRACTICAL. WTF you think this is? The Bachelor or some shyt. This ain't no Ben Stiller romantic comedy.  This is real life kitko...

[Legacy]

I'm saying that her feelings have to be considered but so does his WALLET. Spending another 4K-6K on a ring is IMPRACTICAL for the majority of men you'll date.

And what's wrong with getting rid of that ring and buying a less expensive one...you were good until you got to the can't sell it part... cause if I brought it, I can sell it, so there's no need to even go there.... if it's 4, sell it for 3 add 1 and buy a new one... all's good, everybody's happy.   Or if you're smart, don't even bring the issue up... the history of the ring will be between you and your shadow.

Nothing is wrong with that if you can sell it. I said a long time ago that I don't see that as a real sticking point tho because there is no issue if you can sell it. My only point is if he can't sell the ring, don't forgo marriage over some materialistic symbolism than means nothing in the grand scheme of things..

[Legacy]

So the first woman gets the whirlwind romance and I have to be practical?? FOH!!! like fa real,  that's the biggest crcok of dog poo I've ever heard!

^5 ...I mean really

Translation: ME ME ME ME ME ME & MORE ME!! FOH!

<PSA>

LEGACY WILL RETURN SHORTLY AFTER I RUN TO WALGREENS! FOH! THEY GOT THEM POMEGRANATE GREEN TEAS! I'M BOUT TO WHOO-RIDE ON EM!.

15 minute countdown begins..

[Bambi eyes]

I think it's tacky and classless to keep the ring.  The same way women are saying that they wouldn't want a ring intended for another woman, why would you want a ring intended for your marriage that didn't occur?  Yes, it was given to you, but it meant something in the context of your relationship, it wasn't just a consumer item.  You can keep the car, clothes and other jewelry he gave you, but you should return the engagement ring if the engagement gets  broken off.  It's just the right thing to do.

I don't think it's classless or tacky to keep it, but if I were in the position, I'd give it back to him... keeping it would be like a bad memory that I really would not enjoy wearing so why keep it.  I've thrown away other less symbolic things that people have given me that reminded me of them when I didn't want to be reminded of too... but I wouldn't throw away an expensive diamond ring... I'd rather give it back and let them figure out what to do with it... if they insisted I keep it, it would end up in the pawn shop. 

ROTFL... Legacy doesn't read long post, but has no problem finding long azz articles written by others for all of us to read through ...there's a name for that and it doesn't start with an L....

[devineone]

quote author=Legacy link=topic=2361.msg27312#msg27312 date=1212169239

@ DO..

? - If you didn't really want the relationship why were you really angry & hurt? Hmmmm......

Because Legacy, I have feelings and he had feelings and when the end of a relationship occurs normal people will feel normal hurt loss and anger.  It's what happens when a loss occurs. Regardless of the reasons behind the loss, grief occurs when something ends with someone you've come to care about.  Just because I made the decision to end it, didn't mean that I'm a robot and I'm so cold and emotionally detached that I didn't hurt.  We both were angry sad and hurt for a time.   What kind of logic are you trying to use here?  Oh I know Legacy logic  ... 

I don't regret my decision.  I would have regretted it more if I had gone along with someone that I didn't really love and someone who didn't want me to be "me".  Someone who wanted me to give up what was important to me to make him happy.  Please note, that I've exhaled from that a long time ago.   I'm very happy with that decision.  That was such a chauvinistic remark to make by implying that my happiness was lost because I let a "husband" slip through my fingers."  Let me tell you, my happiness begins and ends with me, it doesn't depend on a "husband.".   I wouldn't put that responsibility on anyone, nor would I want someone else making me responsible for their happiness.

This has nothing to do with Michelle Obama, why are you even bringing that up over in this post?   This is you making all kinds of rants trying to make a point and getting off the subject.
You're just trying to divert the attention from the fact that you refused to answer any of my pointed questions about your personal life.  You asked, I told you.  If the question was rhetorical why didn't you say?  Why won't you answer about your life and show by example?  You're always spouting your opinions, but you fail to use an example in how you conduct your own personal life to support what you say.  That makes what you say less creditable. 

Oh ok.. makes sense now. That's why you were over there co-signing Bambi in the post about Michelle Obama. Your independence cost you a husband so you wanted Michelle to do the same thing.

Whatever man, you're just full of it.  Take a laxative and relieve yourself of your BS
http://www.fartgreetings.com/wav/poot.wav

HAHAHAHA!! NOPE! Michelle got her a man & she keepin him! She ain't dumb like some of the chicas I know. Maybe one day y'all will figure shit out tho.

I'm too smart to marry a petit homme just because it was what he wanted and not what I wanted at that stage in my life.  In fact any manolito who thinks the way you've just demonstrated from this silly quote is pretty dumb and emotionally immature, certainly not mature enough to be ready for marriage.  Whatever you say Leg, you got it.  You're the expert here, I mean, you've shared so much about how you run your own personal life and all.  I surely must defer to your expert opinion.  I should have been smarter and snatched up that man and I would be so much better off as a woman, because women can't be anything without a man.  Doesn't matter if that wasn't what was making me happy at that time, as long as it was what that man wanted. plueeze.
 

And, I didn't expect you to answer my question. It was more rhetorical than anything. Hopefully it helped you exhale.. 

Yawn... When are you going to answer my questions.

As for the money for a ring, you said it was a small amount of money BASED ON WHAT OTHER MEN SPEND FOR RINGS. That's a terribly flawed way to value something a man who is proposing to you gives.  That was the only point.

This is your opinion again, who said Legacy's opinion was worth more than the effort it took him to peck it out.  Everybody's got an opinion.

PS - Don't worry about me.. I'm all good.

I'm not worried about you, I've got better things to do than that.  I just asked you a few questions about how you conduct your own personal life with your SO to support all of your rants and opinions about what "you" think others ought to be doing in their own intimate lives.  I was hoping you could shed some light based on your own example but as usual you refused to answer.   Yet you're full of rants and opinions but you can't bring in your own real life examples to support your opinions.  Next....

Credibility -1
Real life personal examples to share -1
BS + infinity and beyond.

[devineone]

So the first woman gets the whirlwind romance and I have to be practical?? FOH!!! like fa real,  that's the biggest crcok of dog poo I've ever heard!

^5 ...I mean really

Cruzcontrol, (Welcome to the boards, I'm late with my welcome. )   You may as well get used to it.  When it comes to anything that has to do with money and men buying women things, Legacy will be all over this subject like flies over shyt.  In his mind, women are gold diggers until proven innocent.  His mind is already made up.  He even said he's the judge and jury.  Yet he's just so mysterious about himself.    Have  fun but don't take what these dudes say here all that seriously.  I have guy friends in my real life who I know and I respect their opinions  far more than some of the drivel I read posted by some of these dudes.  Just take it as fun and games.  There are a few guy posters here who kinda make sense but well ..... you may not have experienced that yet on this particular topic thread.