The Ring

[devineone]

Heck, for all you know he can be living NEXT door to ya.." 

[devineone]

This "symbolic" gesture falls entirely on the man in our culture. I'm just not hearing it from the beneficiary of a gesture that falls exclusively on me to provide.
 

Historically in Europe and Asia and even in America brides had to bring a dowry into the marriage and that "gesture fell exclusively on the bride's family to provide.  It's an outdated practice now, but in India this custom still continues.  If the marriage didn't occur, the groom was expected to return the dowry minus the bride price and the bride price wasn't nearly as much as the dowry the woman's family paid to the groom.  This custom was practiced even if there were no 'symbolic" exchanges of rings.

[Scorpio]

I'm just wondering what you all think about how the ring should be handled when a relationship comes to an end and an engagement is broken off? 

I know I'm late on this one, just moved into a new house so I'm playing catchup on my cyber haunts. This topic hits close to home as I've actually been in this situation.

First, do you think the women should keep the ring or give it back to the man?

As the ring is a conditional gift (i.e. a promise of marriage), proper decorum and logic dictates that the ring be returned if the engagement is called off. That being said, when my ex broke off the engagement I didn't ask for it back and she ended up selling it to pay   her bills.

Second, what do you think the man should do with the ring if he gets it back, assuming it cannot be returned for a refund?

Sell it. Barring that, donate it to charity.

Third, women, would it be offensive to you to be given the same engagement ring that was given back to a man in his previous relationship? 

Not a woman, but I will say that I wouldn't give the ex's ring to the new betrothed. I've always hated hand-me-downs...

Fourth, men what would you personally do if you found yourself in this situation with say a $4,000-$6,000 ring that is not returnable?

Personally, I'd sell it online and use whatever funds that were gained on household expenses.

[bigmomma]

Welcome BACK Scorpio 

[Ndgo]

Yeah... AND another thing I'd like to add. Especially, if a woman is given an heirloom.... she needs to give it back, EVEN IF there is a divorce. The ring belongs to the family, period. Now IF it was a new ring, bought for just little ol me and I divorce... guess what! The ring is mine. Can't have it!

But for an engagement... pre-marriage vows....give up the ghost and move along... can't hang onto something that's not there... just give it back.

[devineone]

Yeah... AND another thing I'd like to add. Especially, if a woman is given an heirloom.... she needs to give it back, EVEN IF there is a divorce. The ring belongs to the family, period. Now IF it was a new ring, bought for just little ol me and I divorce... guess what! The ring is mine. Can't have it!

But for an engagement... pre-marriage vows....give up the ghost and move along... can't hang onto something that's not there... just give it back.

When I was engaged, my fiance gave me a collection of his grandfather's Charlie Parker's records on Dial.  Nobody in his immediate family really appreciated those records or realized the value of them.  His Grandfather was a big "Bird' fan.  So he gave them to me.  After the engagement ended, he asked for them back.  He said that since they were part of the family, they should stay with the family.
Now all along, these records had been languishing in storage (cold storage otherwise they would have melted and nobody appreciated them until I came along).  I gladly gave the ring back, but no way in hell was he getting those records back.   He didn't get them either.

[Ndgo]

   hahahaha... sometimes, that's what they get... nuttin!!! I'm not mad a ya! too funny!!