Great topic, mochagirl. I feel ya. None of us are perfect, but toxic people can wear a person down and drain the joy from a persons life if they are allowed to do so.
I don’t take friendships and family relationships lightly, I’ve done some ‘spring cleaning’ myself over the past several yrs.
1. A longtime friend who I’ve caught in lies (some little, some not so little). She stabbed me in the back one time too many. I found out about it by accident, and it hurt. ENOUGH.
2. A family member who has caused tremendous pain and hardship for his children and their mother. A really sad situation. A user and a loser. I got a vm msg from him a few months ago and didn’t even return the call. ENOUGH.
3. A sometime friend who was always calling me telling me some negative garbage about people we know. Always getting into someone’s business. ENOUGH.
I really agonized over these. In a couple cases I literally wrote down pros and cons of maintaining or ending the relationship. People have different opinions, but bottom line is we are responsible for our own emotional and mental health. In a couple cases I told the person what was bothering me and why I no longer felt the relationship was good for me. Couple others I simply stopped interaction with. One person wrote me a long letter; I replied briefly, politely, but honestly. ‘course they were all “WTH?” and full of denials and trying to twist and turn the tables.
Waste of time and energy.
But I have to say: no regrets. My life is better without these people, and I treasure the healthy relationships I do have.
Best to you, mochagirl.