The Demise of Dating

[devineone]

So if more women were strong and focused and refuses to settle for nonsense, then the pool of available free sexi and women that will take b.s. and try to form it into a committed relationship.

Women control whether or not a man gets a hook up.
Women control whether or not a man has a baby.
Women control whether or not a man has a booty call.
Women control whether or not a man has a Friend With Benefit.
Women control whether or not a man has a date.
Women control whether or not a man has a wife.
Women control whether or not a man has even a conversation with her.

Get my drift?  But if you don't accept that you have that power or are too naive to know it... well...

I agree with everything CB has said about how women behave.  I agree with you as well Ms HB.  Women do need to better and they do "allow" men to do hurtful things to them. I haven't disputed any of that.  All I'm saying is that I think additionally, the dialogue should be inclusive of the playas as well and what they can do to become better men .  I don't see the harm in having these talks too.  It certainly can't hurt can it?  There are well known people out there talking about men doing better.  Cosby wrote a book recently about it, Come on people.  I bought that book.  Obama talks about fathers being responsible.  I think that talking about both is a good thing. 

[devineone]

Here are some "excerpts” taken from an article I found earlier this year.  I couldn’t find the link to his website. I thought these comments were interesting.
How Sex Kills Off Romance
Shmuley Boteach - Saturday, 24 February, 1996

"We all love romance and romantic gestures. We also seem fully capable of identifying a romantic act when we see one. So why is it that we find it so difficult defining what romance is? Even as you read these lines, think of what your definition would be. Many get caught in the quagmire of defining romance as love. Romance is different to love, and the two should not be confused. Neither can romance be defined as merely acting upon attraction.  .

I recently sat with nine sex and relationship experts/therapists as a part of a national radio debate on the subject of romance and sex in marriage. As the presenter asked each of us how we would define romance, there emerged a quizzical look on the faces of the participants. The question was greeted with a few inaudible mutterings about gestures which show love. People seem readily capable of identifying a romantic gesture, like buying a woman flowers or chocolate. But they seemed totally flummoxed at why the gesture is romantic. This apparent inability even to define the nature of romance may indeed account for the prevailing public mood that romance is dying in our day.

To me the definition of romance is this: A romantic gesture is one where the only purpose is to make one’s spouse or girlfriend feel special and loved. It is a totally non-utilitarian act which has no practical purpose.  A romantic, therefore, is someone for whom love is an end in itself.

If romance is defined as a man doing something with no other intention other than to make a woman feel special and loved, then I contend that premarital and extramarital sex has served to destroy romance entirely.  You see, romance has been killed off by premarital and extramarital sex precisely because every gesture performed by a man today can, and usually is, construed as a mere inching of his way closer to sex. And even if it is not, what woman can really discern between the two? How often has a woman thought that a man really loved her when  he almost immediately left her?

Romantic gestures today are designed to seduce rather than to cherish. We are all impoverished as a result because we all need to feel loved."