I have light skinned friends who get tired of guys dating 'their color,' rather than dating them as a person.
This is something totally new to me. I have never heard of a man dating a woman simply because she is light skinned. You can be light skinned and be 400 pounds or a woman can be light skin with an extremely hard face lol. Other posters should weight in on this. I have never actually heard a man say “I dated her because she was light skinned”.
I'm sure there are millions of guys who date dark skinned women, but why aren't they on the media and visible?
The American media/entertainment industry is controlled by jews (I have nothing against jews but they have historically owned a lot), homosexuals and bigots. I remember there being a big discussion about BET vs MTV but the people didn’t realize Viacom owns them both!
When you mainly see mostly light skinned black or white women on the arms of the celebrities, what message are you sending out to young black girls who don't look like that and what effect do you think it has on these young vulnerable girls self image?
You just pointed out the crux of the problem right there. Our kids shouldn’t be looking to the BET Awards or the NBA for role models. We are their role models. The people who are around them everyday have the most influence. At a young tender age we out to be instilling in them the values and the self confidence they will need to survive as adults.
If anything the media has improved some. I remember when you didn’t see black women on tv for the most part other than shows like Good Times
There is a bigger picture that you are refusing to see II. Not only do darker skinned women and young girls have to deal with the media' touting the'white woman"as the standard of beauty for which others are measured by, they also have to contend with rejection by their own brothas who are more and more showing their preference for women who (while they may not be white), many of them are closer to the Euro standard of beauty than the African beauty. This is a problem. This is what they mainly 'see" portrayed on TV.
You are trying to make light of an issue, probably because you haven't delved into the seriousness of it or you don't really know anything about it in depth.
Try being a black man. Do you know what it feels like to have women clutch their purses at the sight of you? To be harassed by the police for no reason? To have everyone automatically assume you are there to kill maim and destroy. To have every race of women look down on you and then to have your sistahs say we want white men because they have money, are more sensitive, know how to treat us, have better attitudes etc. We could back and forth all day about this.
The picture you are describing is one I know very well but what I have advocated Is for us to stop looking at that 400 year picture and start painting another. We can’t control what white people have done or what they may do in the future but we can control ourselves. Things aren’t where they should be but they are improving. I don’t teach my daughter the biases and the old hatreds. I will let her know that hatred due to her skin color exist but its something she can easily overcome. Its sad that there are dark skinned women who will hate her because she is light. I will have to warn her about that to.
The change starts in our own home. We don’t people to continue to point out the problem. Its like a smoker continuously saying cancer is a huge issue people should stop smoking but then he lights up another cancer stick. At what point will he take responsibility for his own actions and quite smoking!? He argues back that stores make the tobacco so easy to obtain (like media glorifies light skin supposedly) but that doesn’t mean he has to partake of the the tobacco. There is no law saying we have to expose our kids media we don’t approve of either.
That Denzel Washington and Samual Jackson example is old and tired. (Now we have Usher). Those are just 3 set against 100's maybe 1000's of other black men in the media spotlight who prefer the lighter woman so yes there is consistency at least among the black men in the public eye and those celebrities tend to influence a lot of brothas out of the public eye. You yourself said you're like Jayz.
Like I said for every black celebrity with a white or light woman there is another with a dark skinned woman. I’m not willing to invest the time required to name them all lol. I said I’m like Jay-Z and James Bond mixed due to my style, attitude and charisma.
I for one am glad that our President, has an attractive, intelligent, physically fit beautiful chocolate sistah on his arms whom he adores. For once, 'black is the new light. (I say that tongue in cheek)
Now if Michelle were light would you be any less proud? Just the fact they are black is significant enough for me.
When people don't ask questions, when people don't study behavior And shows of that nature. The fact that we have as many black people in the public eye is a plus regardless of whether they are dark or light and find out the what the motivations are behind behaviors, then people stop learning.
Over time the lessons change. The world evolves. Blacks should to. The election of a black president is proof of that. We cannot continue into the next 400 years with the same thinking we had from the prior. That isn’t learning its regression.
There is nothing wrong with asking if black men (especially those in the media) tend to prefer light skinned women over dark. In fact perhaps this behavior may possibly be the outcome that we are suffering from years later because of slavery. Just because questions are asked that make you feel uncomfortable II doesn't mean those questions are not legitimate and shouldn't be asked and discussed.
The question in and of itself didn’t make me uncomfortable in fact I anticipated this line of questioning would come up. This was the reason why I listed the qualities of my ideal woman before I listed her physical appearance. I know there are a lot of black women who are sensitive to the subject. The only thing which bothers me about this topic is the finger pointing (I’m talking about bw against bm). We can argue who is at fault but it will never get us anywhere until we start becoming better parents and figures in our own communities.
Unity defeats separation. Only love can end hatred. I think of Realgem as I write this there was an example of an upright brother in a place where there were tons of black women. For what 20 years he dated sistahs but in the end he ended up with a white woman. I mean would it have been better if he were single? I’m sure a lot of women would automatically assume he only chased white women.
The inverse is true as well. There are a lot of brothers who aren’t suitable mates so I really hold no malice toward sistahs that step out on us. It get a slit twinge when I see a fine sistah with a white guy though but I don’t dwell. Hell who knows what she experienced in the past.
I attempted to date a woman named Shona once. She was dark had a nice body but her personality was the most beautiful thing about her. She didn’t give me a chance because she had a black man stalk her in the past so in her mind all black men were stalkers. I mean she cut me off in tears because she was afraid I would be like that guy. She ended up marrying a white guy.
I know about pain, oppression, sexism all those things. I don’t maintain a negative outlook on the world although I have reason to.
