Hey, I'm in the first category..
Too bad that the cats in the first category seem to be outnumbered..One of the things that I've noticed is that some of the cats who are in the first category tend to wait to start families, because they want to be able to support said family..My situation is similar, although I was engaged twice before I married my wife, well into my *ahem, cough* 30's..
So, what we have in the black community is the perfect storm..You have some men and women delaying marriage while they pursue careers..The women are really in a bind despite the advances made by modern medicine, because of the biological clock..If they choose to wait to find a man that's willing to be more than a "Baby Daddy" and actually marry a woman and
then start a family--good luck finding him..Those dudes are out there, but the supply is limited..
Women who choose to have children without the stability of marriage and a husband, will also face the fact that most men that are in the first category are, truth be told, more than a litlle reluctant to even date them.. Those men can and do seek out women without the baggage that usually accompanies the modern day "Baby Daddy/Baby Momma" soap opera lifestyle..So, we end up with the current situation that many black singles face in our commmunity..
The men in the other two categories will take advantage of the scarcity of marriageable men and will have actual harems, demanding that the women cater to their every whim..Some of the dudes in the first category have their harems as well, but most of them go through that phase rather quickly..As a dude that did enjoy my life as a single man, let me tell you that the whole "Playboy" lifestyle gets old real quick when you have the desire to be a husband and father..
Most of the women will know that they're not the only woman in that man's life, but will choose to accept the situation..They won't be happy about it--in fact, nobody's happy..The anger and resentment is palpable on both sides as each blames the other for the current state of affairs..
But, despite the bleak outlook most folks have, I do believe that things will change..I do know that it won't be the mainstream media or any corporate interests that causes the change to come about..The people have to be the change they want to see..
