Avoiding the Games Black Men Play to Keep Black Women Single

Surely you’ve heard the statistics about marriage and African American women, right? Black men love to lob them like hand grenades to shatter the spirits of black women and make them feel undesirable. Their favorite? The “70% of black women are single!” lie.

Most often though, black women are chided for being unmarried at rates higher than any other nationality of women in the United States.

I just thought it important to provide a reality check on the issue of why more black women aren’t married. We get blamed for being single in large numbers as if we are faulty and deficient in some way, when in reality as long as you mess around with chumps like this that make every excuse in the book to NOT marry, you will remain single for the rest of your life.

One of my FB friends told me that she went to a wedding this past weekend and all the adult “baby daddy” males stood on the side laughing and poking fun when it was time for the garter toss. The only people out there were little boys under the age of 14. And one who caught it threw it up in the air to let it land on the floor. A woman picked it up and put it in her purse.

Now what the #&28 was that? See, black men cry about women “not knowing how to be wives” but on the real, they don’t really want the obligations and responsibilities of heading a household and being responsible for the inhabitants of said household, fidelity and commitment. Not in any large numbers. Otherwise there would not be millions of single black women and children living on their own.

Took me two days to put this together, but I think it contains at least 90% of the b.s. excuses black men give to avoid marrying the women they claim to love.

Some men have of course accused me of being divisive, a man hater, a ruiner of black male/female relationships.

Surprisingly (well, not really), dozens of women jumped in front of the cannon to protect men and/or attack me, saying things like “our society tells women that they don’t need a man and that is what this meme is doing!” Huh? This meme is not doing anything but telling young girls that do want to get married not to waste their time with jokers like these!

What you ladies riding for men fail to understand is that this meme is an educational tool. Young women need to be taught by their elders about their bodies, motherhood, how to cook, how to do their hair and groom themselves, values, morals, and how to navigate relationships in healthy ways. That’s what I do.

Other women attacked by saying, “a Game can ONLY BE PLAYED, if YOU ALLOW IT. I recognize, that MANY of OUR Sista’s settle and fall for these scenarios; however, there are MANY, that don’t. Until, Sista’s ACCEPT a level of culpability and accountability, for their choices….THEY WILL suffer the consequences, of UNHEALTHY, TOXIC & oftentimes volatile relationships.” So you ladies are assigning… oh let’s say a 20 year old college student fresh out of her teens, with full accountability for knowing ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the games that can be run on her over her entire lifetime? You are telling her that if she trusts her first love and he games on her, that it’s her fault for allowing him to do it?

Maybe it’s just me, but that sounds evil-hearted, condemning and judgmental towards young black women, while giving hurtful men a pass for dogging them.

Not once did these women chastise the men for lying, running games or doing the egregious things to women that they do. It’s like blaming the rape victim for being raped. Same mentality. What these women are in effect saying is, “well you don’t know these bullshit games and I do, so since I didn’t fall for them, you shouldn’t have either and if you did that was your choice and it is your fault you got gamed on”.

Anyway, the vast majority of the women who reviewed this meme acknowledged that they’d heard some if not all of these deflections and excuses from men. Not necessarily men they were dating, let’s be clear. Sometimes you hear these things from friends, relatives, sorors, coworkers, church members, other students, neighbors, and even from men in your family; hearing these excuses from men does not mean you heard them from YOUR man.

You also see this stuff posted online. There are hundreds if not thousands of videos by black men talking negatively about marriage. Thousands of social media posts, blogs, articles, even in print magazines and ebooks. They are forever running from marital commitments, though they will happily take all a woman’s love and loving services as if he were her husband, and have the nerve to demand more!

Naw, I’m throwing the b.s. flag on that play fellas.

So, for all you young ladies who seek marriage, I want you to enter the arena with the skills to determine when a game is afoot and the weapons to protect and save yourself.

Therefore this meme.