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By October 11, 2011

Grandmother is pressuring me to find a boyfriend


Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I just got back from seeing my grandmother who lives in another province in Canada. We went out for dinner and then she said “we’ve got to find you a boyfriend!” I was embarrassed – this is the first time she has ever said that.

Before, I think she had the attitude that it would happen when it happens for me. But not anymore! She said that I needed to make it happen and that she wanted me to join PlentyofFish or E-harmony! I think she may be doing this because all of her friends have grand-daughters that have gotten married and had kids by my age. What should I tell her to get her to back off?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
You have the wrong attitude. You don’t reject her request, you embrace it and accept that what she is saying is being said out of love. So you say “Grandmother, I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I would love to have someone to love and that loves me in my life. My life is pretty happy, but I think I would be happier with a companion. What do you suggest I do?”

Learn from your grandmothers wisdom and life experience. Talk to her openly about how society has changed and how confusing it is for you. Share with her your dating stories, and how men are not what they used to be. See her as your ally in this quest, not the enemy. She loves you and just wants you to be happy.

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