My Girlfriend Thinks I Am a Snoop

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My girlfriend broke up with me because I snooped through her cell phone. Now she thinks that’s what type of person I am. What can I do to convince her that I just made an moron mistake and that’s not me?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
Dude, the first thing you must accept is that you ARE that type of person, otherwise it would never have occurred to you to even do such a thing! When that really isn’t who or what you are, you don’t engage in such types of behavior.

For instance, someone who is not a thief could be in an environment where thousands of dollars in cash and jewels were lying about, and they would not take them. Why? Because they are not that type of person.

When someone snoops through a phone that does not belong to them, they are a snoop. Otherwise the phone could have lain around for years and you would never have touched it.

Just accept the fact that you ARE that type of person and that since she doesn’t want to be with a snooping man that doesn’t trust her, she did the right thing to leave you.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.