Questioning Women and Their Romantic Choices

With a divorce rate around 50%, one might begin to wonder what’s wrong with this country. My theory is that it all starts with relationships in general.” Today’s jackass is tomorrow’s boyfriend.” I heard this quote from a kid I knew in Syracuse. He was quite the jackass, indeed. He recounted a story to me how he and this one girl used to be total enemies, and he would openly insult and verbally abuse her on a daily basis. Now they’re dating!

Does anyone else see the problem with this?

The problems these days seem to stem from the female psyche. Girls are “falling in love” with guys for seemingly no reason at all, and 99% of the time this guy is completely wrong for them. In some extreme cases the girls even realize and comprehend the wrongness of the relationship and the incompatible personalities, yet still they know they “love” the guy and feel they can “change” him. Sometimes these same girls have a best friend who is a guy. Not only is this tragic tale the subject of many a song, book, movie, or myth, but I have also had the experience myself.

I can’t stand girls with a guy as a best friend these days. It’s like, you know he likes you, otherwise he wouldn’t put up with listening to you talk, and yet they don’t date the guy. It’s like you’re at a job interview, and they tell you: “You’re perfect for the job! You have all the requirements and more and would make an excellent employee, but instead we’re going to hire a grossly unqualified individual who probably has a drinking problem.”

A stand-up comic once delivered that partial monologue, and I can only assume he had been in a similar situation himself.

My advice? As hard as it is, you girls out there have to evaluate your relationships and decide whether it’s healthy or not. I know it’s hard, but no matter how much you “love” the guy, just think: How often does he make you feel like shit?

I have a whole theory on a perfect relationship, borrowing a format from one of my best friends. I’ve dubbed it the “Relationship Triangle” for lack of a better name. There are, naturally, three sides: Mental, Emotional, and Physical. I say the “perfect” relationship because I believe (and almost know) that healthy relationships can exist with little or no physical aspect. I only include physical as I believe the closest bond between man and woman can only come with a physical aspect. Now, for a perfect relationship, all these sides have to be the same ‘length.’ Having one ‘too long’ (too much) or ‘too short’ (too little) will cause the triangle to lose its balance.

Under the emotional side, you have to ask yourself if you really love your significant other. This is step one, because you need it to create a lasting relationship. Unfortunately, most people stop here and do not go on to step two. Step two is the mental aspect. For this to balance, you have to ask yourself if the relationship makes sense.

This is where problems come in. People think they are in love, but when and if they ever take the time to evaluate their life they realize all they have is a lot of depression and misconstrued longings for a person who only makes them miserable. The third side is the physical, which is just what it sounds like, and is a field that I won’t go into in this essay, even though I happen to have a lot to say about it.

So why do girls fall for guys who aren’t right for them? A good question, and with it comes a tricky answer. The one-word answer is “psychology,” but there is so much more to it than that. Let’s take our jackass friend from my first anecdote. He’s an example of what I’ll call the Jackass Effect. For some reason some girls fall for complete dicks.

It most always includes some sort of Fruedian or other subconscious issue, however. In some cases, it’s the reverse-Oedipus complex and the girl is simply looking for someone like her father, but this answer will not suffice for people who do not have abusive parents. For them, it is most likely a ruse that the girl will play with herself in order for her to justify that she is the “better” of the two in the relationship. Some are simply a glutton for punishment while others have a complex where they have to be miserable and want others’ pity.

Next there’s the “Shy Guy Effect,” in which some girls will become obsessive over an extremely introversive person. Oftentimes, there is nothing wrong with this. The girl desires the guy to “come out of his shell” and the more outgoing ones will approach the guy, get to know him, and possibly turn it into a decent relationship. This is only a problem if the girl becomes obsessed but won’t make the first move, or if the quietness of the guy is a sign of mental instability.

But I’m getting off topic and I should probably end this because I really don’t have enough to write a book here, so in conclusion, girls, think before you date!