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By October 9, 2011

The lines men feed women about marriage…


Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
The line is…”I loved being married, only I was married to the wrong woman.”

Now I ask this because this guy laid this ‘line’ on me a few times. Now, I’ve pretty much come to discover that he is a player. WTF! Seems like the perfect (for hopeful women) line to get a woman in bed. What are your thoughts? Or am I just being judgmental?

Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
So what they say that? Don’t read into it. Men like him know that women get all caught up in words so they use words to spin you around and around until you get dizzy trying to figure out what he meant. When it reality he didn’t mean squat – he was just using some words. His words make about as much sense as the teacher in Charlie Brown “wahhh wahhh, wahhh wahhh wahhh.” And that’s about the level of importance you should have put on it. His words were nothing but noise in your ears girl!

What you do is use that to take charge of the situation. You start asking some good ole questions. Mine would have been along these (answers which quickly separate out the line throwers from the men willing to admit they made a poor choice in the past):

  • So, how old were you when you got married?
  • How long had you two known each other and dated before you proposed?
  • What were you looking for in a wife at that time?
  • Why did you fall in love with her?
  • So when did you realize she was the wrong woman?
  • If she didn’t have the qualities you were looking for, why did you marry her?
  • What is it that you loved about being married?
  • Did she change or did your needs in a wife change?
  • So what did you do when you realized she was the wrong woman?
  • How long were you married?
  • Do you plan to marry again?
  • When do you think you’ll get married again?
  • What are you looking for in a wife at this stage of life that is different than the first time around?

You get my point? You wear him out with pointed, information gathering questions. A man with a silly line won’t have thoughtful, detailed responses to any of those questions, just vague, superficial one or two word answers. Or he will say something silly to try to distract you from the question and tell you that you are being too serious. Or he will try to put you off to talk about it later, saying he really doesn’t want to talk about it right NOW.

Once you run through the test, you can move on and never again worry about men like him. You’ll avoid getting caught up in player mind games with him and other men that hold the word “marriage” out like a magic wand in the face of single women..

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