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By October 1, 2011

Getting back together with my ex

I have been broken up with my ex for at least 2½ months. Just recently, he told me how much he missed me and he wants us to try again but to take things slow this time. I really think he is the one because I took it really hard when we were apart. He is a very shy person and what bothers me is that he cannot express how he actually feels about me. I really love this guy a lot and if we can overcome all the problems we faced throughout the year I know we can overcome anything. Do you think this relationship can work?

Before you make any sort of commitments or promises, or get rid of the other guys you may be seeing, you would do best to spend time talking with him. Not just talking about this and that, but deep level talking about and analysis of your past, your future, goals, and where you fit into each other’s lives as they are NOW. You need to be very sure that you both want the same things out of this relationship and life and that this isn’t just an ego play to get you into bed during a dry spell!

I say to do it this way because while you may be thinking “happily ever after,” he may be thinking “for the time being.” And if he never expresses himself emotionally, can you live a lifetime like that? A healthy relationship is not entered into out of loneliness, and you don’t go backwards after breaking up unless the reasons for the breakup have been dealt with successfully.

It doesn’t sound like that has happened here, so I caution you not to get so caught up in “love” that you neglect to think logically about why you two separated in the first place!

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Posted in: Teen Dating FAQs

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