According to statistics, black women are the least married demographic in the nation. Though there are black women with no interest in marriage, there are still a large number of young black women who dream of having a wedding where they wear the white gown and become Mrs. Somebody or Other. But black women do not make the decision to be married alone, they need a husband. Why are black men so reluctant to marry?
The only way out of the mental and emotional hole black women are in is to join hands and pull each other up. Columnist and social researcher Deborrah Cooper proposes 12 Commandments of Sisterhood as a great starting point for the Black Women’s Empowerment movement.
Don’t allow yourself to get crossed up in those types of mind games. If your man is headed for a fall, step back and let him hit the ground. He’s a grown man, not a baby. You don’t need to rush in there and try to make it all better for him like his Mommy. He’ll get up on his own or reach out to other men to help him up, and he’ll be stronger and smarter for the hard knots he has on his big head and the lessons he’s learned.
Men need a reality check and women are here to give it to them. Never support a man’s dream when its unrealistic, unattainable dreams and he is clearly setting himself up for failure.
Racism and sexism, oppression by skin color and by gender are two sides of the same coin. Black men cannot cry foul concerning racist treatment by whites, seek out the black woman’s assistance in fighting that racism, then turn around and treat black women with the same disdain as a Klansman. You believe in roles, right? Then remember that your role is to protect women and envelope them in softness, not to terrorize, abuse and beat them down.
Sabotage of birth control is very real. From hiding BC pills to poking holes in condoms and diaphragms, men are forcing young women to become pregnant against their will. Pregnancy and childbirth should always be the WOMAN’S CHOICE, never that of a confused and desperate man whose top goal in life is to do all he can to ruin your daughter’s future.
Just because a woman says she “can’t find a man” it doesn’t mean that she isn’t dating or having sex regularly. What she means is that she hasn’t yet found THE man, the one that she wants to be with forever, the one that she can fully trust, the one whose name she can take with pride, the one she would set up a joint checking account with.
Single men often complain about not being able to find a woman to date. I believe that’s because guys all want the same woman, leaving thousands of great women that would make you very happy sitting alone at home. Take a look at some of these undiscovered gems that are probably right under your nose.
DRB black males love to play mind games with and hurt women, and have no qualms about it. Making you feel off center and unstable is their goal. The less confident you feel, the more likely you are to give him what he wants.
Inspired by the 1972 piece Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte, blogger Deborrah Cooper pens a guide for African American parents on how to raise black children with dignity, pride and high self esteem.