Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My ex left me for another woman and yet he still sends me text messages and calls me, trying to be friends I guess. He sent me a text message about how great and “unique” she is. Then he started saying that he’s unique and different from everyone else and then asked “Don’t you agree?” I said “No. Everyone’s the same to me now”. He got so angry. At least he’ll leave me alone now.
Ms. HeartBeat Responds:
He is not going to stop there, because he enjoys torturing you too much. You must get some sick thrill out of it, because you keep answering the phone and talking to him.
I really don’t get that “be friends with the ex” stuff. I mean to me, the person either was so disgusting that you left them to save your sanity, or they found you to be that way, and they took off running in the other direction. Either way, one of you isn’t too thrilled about the other. Most relationships end badly with cheating, lies, abuse, general raggedyness, so what is there to be friends with? I don’t want any of my exes to even say my name, that’s how uninterested I am in hearing anything from or about them.
Next time he calls tell him that you’ve changed your mind and agree with him that she is special. Then say “she is special and unique, just like everyone else.” Or tell him “well, at least one of you is special!” Intentionally say things to make him feel small and stupid. It’s time to take off the kid gloves and smash his face into the cement. I mean really now, how dare he call and text you with nonsense about the woman he left you for! Didn’t he hurt you enough already? Why can’t he just be with his new girl and be happy OVER THERE? What a jerk!
Also tell him to stop texting or calling you before you file a restraining order. Remind him that it won’t look good to have a stalking charge and a record should he have to go looking for employment, so he would do best to leave you alone. Do it in writing too (by text or email with return receipt requested) so you have proof that you gave him due legal notice.