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By May 23, 2010

How Nice Guys Can Develop a Player Edge

Despite what the media says, women don’t necessarily look for men with nice, sensitive personalities. Women look for romantic intoxication. They are similar to alcoholics, except that their high is emotional. Women look for excitement whether it is through sex or someone taking them on a romantic getaway. If you break it down this romantic intoxication is nothing more than arousal for women. In plain language women go for men who can turn them on!

Let’s face it. Despite women’s complaints about the shortage of men there are plenty around. Too many good, decent men sit at home Saturday nights with nothing to keep them happy but a six-pack and a VCR. These men span the spectrum. Some are nice guys whose feelings are constantly trampled by the same women who say they are looking for a good man.

Some are wannabe players consistently getting played because most women see past their games. But all of these men have one thing in common: they are not among the group of men considered desirable by the majority of women. What most men fail to realize is that women consciously and subconsciously place men into two categories: select and non-select.

Before describing the men in each group it must be understood how women choose men.

The men who are in the select category are ones who can keep women in a state of romantic intoxication. They can turn women on. The men in the select group usually have one of two things going for them: a good body build or success. Sometimes men in the select group have both.

Despite what a woman may say otherwise, a man’s looks and money influences who she selects for dating. Think about it like this, a man with a nice body will be select because women always go for looks first. If the man doesn’t have the looks he will be select if he has other things going for him such as money, power and status which have been a turn-on for women since the beginning of time.

Men in the non-select group are there because they cannot deliver the romantic intoxication women require. Generally these men lack the looks and the money to turn women on. As a result women largely ignore them. Even when non-select men do manage to get into relationships they are usually treated poorly. In many cases women use them for their time or the little money they have. The nice guy becomes "the man" for a woman in every way except when it comes to sex.

The wannabe players are usually fodder for the female players. They think they’re playing women but it’s usually the other way around. Men in the non-select group are subject to the whims and wishes of the women they desire.

If non-select men wish to become select men there are four basic things they must do:

The first thing to do is to realize that women choose the men. This point must be understood. Even men who think they are choosing the women need to wake up and smell the coffee. Men must stop wasting time chasing women who do not want them and work on recognizing the women who do.

The second thing men must do is work on their physical appearance. Too many men allow themselves to get out of shape. Most of the men in the non-select group need to either build up their bodies or lose weight. Men with good builds turn on women.

A big chest and smile will get a man a long way. A man must also keep himself well groomed. Many men lose out because they do not keep themselves clean. I’ve seen too many dirty looking men try to talk to women and then get mad when women ignore them. It is especially important for men to wear clothes that enhance their appearance and fit them properly. The clothes a man wears and how he wears them can create a look and style which will attract women.

The third thing a man must do is to develop himself economically. That means he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life then work toward his goals.

The man needs to develop his skills to the point he can be financially compensated. Money isn’t everything but it is needed for basic survival in today’s world. Seems obvious? Judging from how many men are broke and lazy, working for a living isn’t obvious to many people. These same men have the nerve to get mad if a woman rejects them. Like it or not a man has to have some finances.

The fourth and most important thing a man must do to become a part of the select group is to develop self-respect.

Women do not respect many nice guys. Nice guys allow women to run over them and want the women to desire them romantically in exchange. Why should a woman respect someone who does not respect himself? Women do not fantasize about a man they can run over. Nice guys have to demand respect.

Once they do this women will begin to look at them in a new light.

There has never really been a shortage of men. There has only been a shortage of men in the select group. Men in the non-select group, instead of getting mad at women, need to look at themselves and embark on a program of self-improvement. The rewards of such a program will propel a man into the ranks of the select group of men.

©2000-2010 Romuald P. Wills and AskHeartBeat.Com. All distribution and duplication rights reserved. Rom Wills is the author of the book "Nice Guys and Players – Becoming The Man Women Want" which can be purchased at Click to listen to Ms HeartBeat’s interview with Rom Wills.

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Submissions from readers on dating and relationships are posted on the site by one of several editorial staff members of AskHeartBeat.Com. To submit your poetry or essay on love, dating or relationships, please click here: Submit Your Writing

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Submissions from readers on dating and relationships are posted on the site by one of several editorial staff members of AskHeartBeat.Com. To submit your poetry or essay on love, dating or relationships, please click here: Submit Your Writing

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