Dear Ms HeartBeat:
I am a Black male living in Oakland, California. I’m recently divorced from a Filipino woman. It seems to me now that it was a mistake to be involved with someone outside my race. She was a cheating lying, person from the beginning.
I’ve seen this with a whole lot of people who get involved with Filipino women. They are not true. From the beginning she was a schemer looking to take me for money or what ever. She didn’t do anything to further the relationship. Since then I’ve moved on.
I think next time I won’t get involved with someone outside my race. What do you think?
I think many Black women would tell you that is what you get, good for ya a$$, etc. etc. for abandoning Black women and running off to women of another race.
What do I think about it?
I think that your anger and resentment at a woman’s race instead of judging her by the type of person she is will do nothing but get you in trouble.
Yeah, I’ve heard lots of men (Black, White and Asian) say that Asian women are money grubbers and use men. However, I’ve heard Black men say the same thing about Black women, and I’ve had White men say the same thing to me about White women.
So maybe, instead of looking at race, we need to look at the type of women we are involving ourselves with. You say you knew what she was “from the beginning,” which means you choose to stay with her and get your face broken and your feelings hurt. Any woman of any race can sniff out a sucker!
The next time you entertain thoughts of marriage, take your time and look at the pros and cons of marrying the particular woman you are focusing on. Ask yourself lots of questions about her character, attitudes, history and what she can offer you in a relationship. What does she bring to your world? How does she enrich your life and those important to you? What does she do that makes you feel good, loved, secure, and emotionally taken care of?
People don’t change, and over time always reveal who they really are… their true selves. Take your time when courting so that you can make sound decisions about the next woman you may consider spending the rest of your life with.